Younger
Thursdays on Paramount+Younger Quotes
Kelsey: You handled that so much better than I would if someone was talking about my ex’s sword in a meeting. You do not have to read that book.
Lauren: Oh no.
Liza: It’s well-written, even if a lot of it sounds like bullshit.
Kelsey: Well, it’s a book about failure written by a billionaire. Of course, it’s bullshit.
Liza: Charles was supposed to come, but I guess I’ll just be hanging solo in a room full of judgmental couples.
Lauren: Liza, no. No, no, no, no. Say no more. I’m gonna call my friend Stefan. He staffs bartenders, cater waiters, the hottest men you have ever seen. Now most of them are a Kinsey 6 gay, but they will definitely give you the old grope-a-dope in front of your PTA friends if you tip generously.
Maggie: Lauren, are these sex workers or waiters?
Lauren: Yes, they are.
Liza: OK.
Lauren: You’re looking at me like I’m the jittery waxer who just ripped off your perineum, and that’s fine. Quinn is coming in to review the marketing plan for “The F Word” at 10. And you can either find out when she saunters in, wearing one of his wrinkled shirts as a minidress, or you can find out from a friend. I came as soon as I heard.
Liza: Thanks, friend.
Liza: I practically wrote your ex-wife’s book. I hope you don’t expect me to edit your new girlfriend’s book as well.
Charles: What are you talking about?
Liza: She said you’re the one who came up with the second book idea. When did that happen?
Charles: I ran into her in Chicago?
Liza: Chicago? Why didn’t you tell me?
Charles: Because I didn’t think it was a big deal.
Liza: We were still together when you went to Chicago.
Charles: I’m not seeing Quinn.
Liza: Well, it seems like something’s going on, and now, I know that’s why you wanted to split up because you had a backup plan.
Charles: Good that had nothing to do with Quinn.
Liza: Then I guess we have nothing to talk about.
Füpa: Maybe, you are right. I do get tired sometimes of always having better principles than everybody else. OK, I will bend to have my voice heard. That is good advice, Liesel.
Liza: I am so glad.
Füpa: But, I will give you small wisdom too. Adults give me advice all the time, and you know usually, no always, it is advice they need to hear themselves. Maybe, you bend don’t too. But what do I know? I’m just a 16-year-old girl who’s saving the world.
Liza: It’s from the benefit this week. Thank you for your support table sponsor. See you this Saturday, Children’s Literary Fund. You know, C-Lit.
Kelsey: That’s the name? C-L-I-T? They better hope those kids don’t read.
Liza: Oh god, you’re right.
Lauren: Do you think that was it?
Kelsey: I hope so. Have you ever googled turtle orgasm?
Lauren: Um, no. Stop
Kelsey [making turtle orgasm sounds]: Now you don’t have to.
Lauren: Stop, you are so much weirder than me, and no one knows that.
Floatie V: I already know what I want. This one, this one, this one, that one, connected together across my forehead.
Josh: OK, why don’t we take a seat for a second? Walk this through.
Floatie V: This dress doesn’t sit.
Josh: OK, not a problem. I’ve been doing this for a while, and one thing I learned is you don’t want to get too many tattoos all at the same time.
Floatie V: I do.
Josh: Are you sure? The great thing about tattoos is they tell a story, right, over time, your story. It’s powerful. We can tell your story in the most beautiful, collaborative way possible, but it deserves to just be done slowly.
Lauren: It’s a love story, set in a glamorous arena very close to home. OK, let me set the stage with the characters. Love isn't just for the young and obviously desirable, right? Even with people ripening in Septembers and early Octobers of their years, love can find a way. Love, say, between a publishing titan with very big hands and shoes and a housewife from New Jersey who moved to New York to impersonate young people and learn about memes and Snapchat lens.
Charles: Lauren, I don’t think…
Liza: Actually…
Lauren: And this loveable kitten-eared imposter soon won the heart of the boss-slash-hero, who incidentally believes of promoting from within, and he summoned up the courage… no, I believe he can say this far better than me…
Video Charles: Will you marry me?
Video Liza: Oh my god.
Lauren: OK, so we didn’t get her answer here on video, but he got it, obvy, and therefore, it brings me great pleasure to present to you the Empirical family of the future, Mr. and Mrs. Charles…
Charles: Lauren, we’re not getting married.
Liza: We’re not engaged. It’s not happening.
Liza: Tell me this. Tell me why. Why travel around the world and sleep in an oyster truck. Why is surfing so important.
Kai: It’s not. That’s what I love about it. It doesn’t matter. It’s just enjoyable. I literally get paid to do what I love.
Liza: I get that. So do I.
Kai: It’s an amazing feeling.
Liza: I’ve kind of forgotten that lately. I’ve had a lot on my mind.
Kai: Then let it go.
Liza: Is that all I have to do?
Kai: Hey, for me, that is the key to self-preservation. You want to stay on your board, while the elements are crashing around, you have to stay present. Put all your worries, all your fears, all your self-doubts go.
Liza: It’s not so easy to get out of my head.
Kai: Then you have to do something to get you out of your body.
Liza: Are you gonna say yoga?
Kai: No, I was going to say sex.
Liza: Well, I’ve been in my head plenty of times during sex.
Kai: You haven’t had sex with me.
Quinn: The title, are you ready? “The F Word.”
Charles: That sounds like you have an axe to grind.
Quinn: The ‘f’ is for failure, the dirtiest ‘f’ word there is, but it shouldn’t be because with failure comes opportunity. In success, people keep doing whatever it is they’ve been doing, but with failure, it makes you grow. It makes you rethink. We should be throwing a party for failure. We should be popping champagne and French kissing it.
Kelsey: We just lost Millennial. Everything’s going back to Empirical now.
Liza: Wait, what?
Kelsey: Yeah, the board just voted on the name change, so everything we worked for is gone, including my relationship. God, I should have just never stayed. My instincts are just terrible.
Liza: OK, that’s not true. You’re instincts are great. They’ve gotten you this far, and Millennial, it’s just a name.
Kelsey: A name of something we built.
Liza: We are still building something. Don’t get stuck on labels. The only thing that matters is the books.
