Better Off Ted Quotes

Veronica: You did this, Phil. And to recognize your efforts, we’re promoting you to Senior Lab Associate. Phil: Oh, I was promoted to…

Ted: Fine, from now on, no more flirting. We keep it professional. Linda: Fine with me… boss. Ted: Good. Starting now, you’re just…

Linda: But, fine, what did you want to talk about? Ted: Well, your work habits and how bad they are and how much that bugs me. Linda:…

Ted: I guess I’ve also been under a lot of pressure. With Linda moving in my office and all, it’s… it’s been a difficult time. So what…

Lem: Oh my god, I emptied the stomach of the woman I love

Phil: Oh, god, Lem, you’re using science for no good. We took an oath we would try to do that less

Linda: Are you staring at my butt? Ted: Hmm? No, your butt is in my staring place. So technically, it’s staring at me. Linda: Sorry. It’s…

Lem: I can be funny. Uh, want to see me throw something at that guy or touch the ceiling? Lucy: That’s lame. But it’s cute you’re trying…

Phil: Why don’t you go talk to her? Lem: Talk to her? Would you talk to a rainbow or a sunset? Phil: If I wanted to get it on with…

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