Quotables for Week Ending January 13, 2017

at .  Updated at .

So much to say, and soon we'll get less and less of it from the big 4 networks as cable premieres continue throughout the month of January.

How many of our quotes shows below do YOU watch on a regular basis? I'm surprised to say I only weigh in at ten! Wow. 

I need to up my Fanatic cred. How about you?

1. Vikings

Bjorn vikings season 4 episode 17

Ubbe: So we declare war on England.
Ivar: No, in the name of our dead father, in the name of Ragnar Lothbrok, the greatest hero of our country, and in the name of Odin, we declare war on the whole world.

Ubbe: So we declare war on England. Ivar: No, in the name of our dead father, in the name of Ragnar Lothbrok, the greatest hero of our...

2. Shadowhunters

Searching for jace shadowhunters

Magnus: Oh there you are! And there he is, my baby.
Simon: Your baby?
Magnus: I created him for Camille ages ago. Best gift I ever gave.
Simon: Great. Well then, maybe don't include me on your Christmas list.
Magnus: He didn't scare you, did he?
Simon: No, of course not. I "Encanto'd" him. No biggie.

Magnus: Oh there you are! And there he is, my baby. Simon: Your baby? Magnus: I created him for Camille ages ago. Best gift I ever gave....

3. Emerald City

Dorothy beware emerald city season 1 episode 3

Your past does not define you. Your mother does not define you. All that matters is who you wish to be and how hard you're willing to fight for it.

The Wizard
Your past does not define you. Your mother does not define you. All that matters is who you wish to be and how hard you're willing to...

4. Star

Hospital hootenanny star s1e3

Cotton: I need my outsides to match my insides.
Carlotta: But why would you pay someone to mutilate what God gave you?
Cotton: God gave me me, Mama. And it's not mutilation.

Cotton: I need my outsides to match my insides. Carlotta: But why would you pay someone to mutilate what God gave you? Cotton: God gave...

5. NCIS: LA

Sam goes undercover ncis los angeles

Sam: See what happens when you practice?
Deeks: I am what they call a natural shooter. It doesn't matter if the lights are on, the lights are off, eyes open, eyes closed. When I shoot, bad guys go ouch.
Sam: It's a good thing I'm not a bad guy.

Sam: See what happens when you practice? Deeks: I am what they call a natural shooter. It doesn't matter if the lights are on, the lights...

6. Madam Secretary

Giving it back madam secretary

When I did that NFL thing in Ohio, I also took some legislators out to dinner. Applebee's. That's where they wanted to go. I unduly influenced them with potato skins and hot wings.

Elizabeth
When I did that NFL thing in Ohio, I also took some legislators out to dinner. Applebee's. That's where they wanted to go. I unduly...

7. The Affair

At his weakest the affair

Helen: Vic thinks that you are taking too much medicine.
Noah: Well Vic has a stick up his ass. And he also hates me.

Helen: Vic thinks that you are taking too much medicine. Noah: Well Vic has a stick up his ass. And he also hates me.

8. Sherlock

John faces sherlock s4e2

Taking your own life. Interesting expression, taking it from who? Once it's over, it's not you who'll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everyone else. Your life is not your own, keep your hands off it.

Sherlock
Taking your own life. Interesting expression, taking it from who? Once it's over, it's not you who'll miss it. Your own death is...

9. Taboo

Following in his fathers footsteps taboo

Thoyt: The land in your father's will is not only useless, but dangerous to anyone who owns it.
James: They're my rocks now.

Thoyt: The land in your father's will is not only useless, but dangerous to anyone who owns it. James: They're my rocks now.

10. The Bachelor

The wedding photo shoot the bachelor

There's nothing more appropriate on a first date than to see what your wedding photos would look like with each other.

Nick
There's nothing more appropriate on a first date than to see what your wedding photos would look like with each other.

11. Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce

Dont touch the baby girlfriends guide to divorce s3e1

Hey little baby. Want to watch Aunty Delia drink? [big smile] Just kidding.

Delia
Hey little baby. Want to watch Aunty Delia drink? [big smile] Just kidding.

12. Bones

The surprise at the party bones

The tradition is illogical. Being startled is unpleasant while engineering a surprise for others has proven to be quite pleasurable.

Brennan
The tradition is illogical. Being startled is unpleasant while engineering a surprise for others has proven to be quite pleasurable.

13. Being Mary Jane

Just one minute being mary jane

I'm just searching for a little escape before reality bites me in the morning. So, London, are you in?

MJ
I'm just searching for a little escape before reality bites me in the morning. So, London, are you in?

14. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

On the hot seat the real housewives of beverly hills

What kind of games are these? Hunger games?

Erika
What kind of games are these? Hunger games?

15. Teen Wolf

Fired up teen wolf

Malia: He's my anchor.
Peter: We'll get you a new anchor. He's not coming back. He was hunted. He got caught.
Malia: You don't believe that. You risked your life to bring us his keys.
Peter: I risked my life to escape the hunt, not to reunite sentimental teenagers.

Malia: He's my anchor. Peter: We'll get you a new anchor. He's not coming back. He was hunted. He got caught. Malia: You don't believe...

16. Agents of SHIELD

Coulson and mack agents of shield

First of all, that thing is not a she. It's a damn robot. And second of all, what is the matter with you two chuckleheads? Have either one of you seen a movie in the last thirty years? The robots always attack.

Mack
First of all, that thing is not a she. It's a damn robot. And second of all, what is the matter with you two chuckleheads? Have either...

17. Shooter

Brokering a deal shooter

Bob Lee: Where is my family?!
Isaac: What did I tell you? Leave your emotions out of it.

Bob Lee: Where is my family?! Isaac: What did I tell you? Leave your emotions out of it.

18. This Is Us

Looking for money this is us s1e11

Hey, did you know if you squint your eyes real hard and look at this bank statement, you can kind of see some extra zeros?

Jack
Hey, did you know if you squint your eyes real hard and look at this bank statement, you can kind of see some extra zeros?

19. Incorporated

Julian and wife incorporated s1e7

Today marks the anniversary of the ratification of the 29th amendment, granting corporations the sovereignty we needed and deserved. An act which freed us from the incompetence, regulations and tyranny of the federal government. We make our own laws, we supply the security. We do the things which government is no longer able to do. God bless America, and God bless Spiga.

Elizabeth
Today marks the anniversary of the ratification of the 29th amendment, granting corporations the sovereignty we needed and deserved. An...

20. Salem

Hell breaks loose salem

Marriage. Marriage is an honorable estate not entered into lightly. Soberly, in the fear of God. Lovers...lovers may be lunatics, and lovers may be beyond the reach of reason and law. True lovers...true lovers do not desire only love. They desire...they desire marriage. For if their love is the truest and noblest love conceivable, those lovers are only relieved by both being happy slaves to one another. You may now kiss the bride.

Cotton
Marriage. Marriage is an honorable estate not entered into lightly. Soberly, in the fear of God. Lovers...lovers may be lunatics, and...

21. Colony

Keeping the family together colony

Katie: What happened out there?
Will: It's some kind of EMP attack. Anything with a circuit got shut down.
Katie: Rob was on a plane...
Will: It's going to be alright.

Katie: What happened out there? Will: It's some kind of EMP attack. Anything with a circuit got shut down. Katie: Rob was on a plane......

22. Lethal Weapon

An amused trish lethal weapon season 1 episode 11

Bike cop: You're a cop? Seriously?
Riggs: Funny. I was going to ask you guys the same thing. You know, my father said a man should never wear shorts to work, but if he saw these shorts...you know it's the cut of them. That's what makes them sexy.
Bike cop: Three tickets.

Bike cop: You're a cop? Seriously? Riggs: Funny. I was going to ask you guys the same thing. You know, my father said a man should never...

23. Criminal Minds

Home invasions criminal minds

Prentiss: You did great in San Diego. I'm glad you trusted your gut.
Walker: Thank you for listening. I've been on teams where opinions, especially new ones, aren't always valued.
Prentiss: That's the nice thing about this group. Everybody has a voice.

Prentiss: You did great in San Diego. I'm glad you trusted your gut. Walker: Thank you for listening. I've been on teams where opinions,...

24. Code Black

The new chaplain code black

EMT: Description?
Rollie: Approximately six months old, a female... Do I really have to describe an infant to you?! Tell you what, just bring me whatever babies you find. How's that?

EMT: Description? Rollie: Approximately six months old, a female... Do I really have to describe an infant to you?! Tell you what, just...

25. Chicago PD

A private police force chicago pd

Jimmy: I'm here to see Erin Lindsay.
Platt: Regarding?
Jimmy: I'm her father.
Platt: Does she know this?

Jimmy: I'm here to see Erin Lindsay. Platt: Regarding? Jimmy: I'm her father. Platt: Does she know this?

26. Law & Order: SVU

A wild party law and order svu

Sonny: When was the last time you were at Nadine's loft?
Gabriel: Two months ago. She broke it off with me. I never went back.
Fin: Why would anyone ever break up with you, Gabriel?
Gabriel: She said she was happier being a lesbian. Crazy bitch.

Sonny: When was the last time you were at Nadine's loft? Gabriel: Two months ago. She broke it off with me. I never went back. Fin: Why...

27. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Jacquelyn and olaf lemony snickets a series of unfortunate event

I am count Olaf the renowned actor and your new guardian. You're welcome.

Count Olaf
I am count Olaf the renowned actor and your new guardian. You're welcome.

28. Nashville

Mother and daughter nashville s4e21

Maddie: It was like I was her servant.
Daphne: Isn't that your job?
Maddie: What?
Daphne: You're an intern. That's literally what you get paid to do.

Maddie: It was like I was her servant. Daphne: Isn't that your job? Maddie: What? Daphne: You're an intern. That's literally what you get...

29. The Blacklist

Future crime the blacklist

Cliches work. That's how they get to be cliches.

Red
Cliches work. That's how they get to be cliches.

30. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Rebecca in scarsdale crazy ex girlfriend season 2 episode 10

Naomi: Hey! Don't yell at me in front of the Oriental! They're a very peaceful people.
Rebecca: Oh my god, you are so offensive.

Naomi: Hey! Don't yell at me in front of the Oriental! They're a very peaceful people. Rebecca: Oh my god, you are so offensive.

31. Chicago Med

A patient death chicago med

He's a really good surgeon. I just wish he wasn't such a dick.

Sarah [about Dr. Abrams]
He's a really good surgeon. I just wish he wasn't such a dick.

32. The Vampire Diaries

Sara canning as jenna

Caroline: You're much older than you look.
Sybil: Talk to me in a thousand years and we'll see how well you're holding up.

Caroline: You're much older than you look. Sybil: Talk to me in a thousand years and we'll see how well you're holding up.

33. MacGyver

The helicopter crash macgyver

Pilot: What's he doing?
Jack: He's being MacGyver.

Pilot: What's he doing? Jack: He's being MacGyver.

34. Hawaii Five-0

Police convention hawaii five 0

I'm glad you find my intimate recollections so engrossing. I was under the impression you came here to help pack.

Max [to Jerry]
I'm glad you find my intimate recollections so engrossing. I was under the impression you came here to help pack.

35. Grimm

Stopping renard grimm

You expect me to be your alibi for a murder you didn’t commit because you were *actually* murdering the person who *was* your alibi?

Adalind
You expect me to be your alibi for a murder you didn’t commit because you were *actually* murdering the person who *was* your alibi?

36. Blue Bloods

Danny reagan photo

Ernie: You always said if there was ever anything you could do for me when I get out…
Danny: That's something I say a lot. That's not actually something I mean when I say it.

Ernie: You always said if there was ever anything you could do for me when I get out… Danny: That's something I say a lot. That's not...

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Tags:
TV Quotes, Multi-Show
Shows:
Vikings, Star, NCIS: Los Angeles, Madam Secretary, The Affair, Sherlock, Shadowhunters, Taboo, The Bachelor, Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce, Bones, Being Mary Jane, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Teen Wolf, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Shooter, This Is Us, Incorporated, Salem, Colony, Lethal Weapon, Criminal Minds, Code Black, Chicago PD, Law & Order: SVU, Nashville, The Blacklist, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Chicago Med, Emerald City, The Vampire Diaries, MacGyver, Hawaii Five-0, Grimm, Blue Bloods
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TV Quotes Quotes

Sometimes, the loneliest place can be in a room with the people who are supposed to love you.

Robert

Tabitha: Except, I didn’t do it consciously. It was like a reflex. The bullet hit me and it triggered a time jump. But why to 1944?
Raphael: Maybe you’re needed here for a mission?