Quotables for Week Ending January 13, 2017
Carissa Pavlica
at
.
Updated at
.
So much to say, and soon we'll get less and less of it from the big 4 networks as cable premieres continue throughout the month of January.
How many of our quotes shows below do YOU watch on a regular basis? I'm surprised to say I only weigh in at ten! Wow.
I need to up my Fanatic cred. How about you?
1. Vikings
Ubbe: So we declare war on England.
Ivar: No, in the name of our dead father, in the name of Ragnar Lothbrok, the greatest hero of our country, and in the name of Odin, we declare war on the whole world.
2. Shadowhunters
Magnus: Oh there you are! And there he is, my baby.
Simon: Your baby?
Magnus: I created him for Camille ages ago. Best gift I ever gave.
Simon: Great. Well then, maybe don't include me on your Christmas list.
Magnus: He didn't scare you, did he?
Simon: No, of course not. I "Encanto'd" him. No biggie.
3. Emerald City
Your past does not define you. Your mother does not define you. All that matters is who you wish to be and how hard you're willing to fight for it.
The Wizard
4. Star
Cotton: I need my outsides to match my insides.
Carlotta: But why would you pay someone to mutilate what God gave you?
Cotton: God gave me me, Mama. And it's not mutilation.
5. NCIS: LA
Sam: See what happens when you practice?
Deeks: I am what they call a natural shooter. It doesn't matter if the lights are on, the lights are off, eyes open, eyes closed. When I shoot, bad guys go ouch.
Sam: It's a good thing I'm not a bad guy.
6. Madam Secretary
When I did that NFL thing in Ohio, I also took some legislators out to dinner. Applebee's. That's where they wanted to go. I unduly influenced them with potato skins and hot wings.
Elizabeth
7. The Affair
Helen: Vic thinks that you are taking too much medicine.
Noah: Well Vic has a stick up his ass. And he also hates me.
8. Sherlock
Taking your own life. Interesting expression, taking it from who? Once it's over, it's not you who'll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everyone else. Your life is not your own, keep your hands off it.
Sherlock
9. Taboo
Thoyt: The land in your father's will is not only useless, but dangerous to anyone who owns it.
James: They're my rocks now.
10. The Bachelor
There's nothing more appropriate on a first date than to see what your wedding photos would look like with each other.
Nick
11. Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce
Hey little baby. Want to watch Aunty Delia drink? [big smile] Just kidding.
Delia
12. Bones
The tradition is illogical. Being startled is unpleasant while engineering a surprise for others has proven to be quite pleasurable.
Brennan
13. Being Mary Jane
I'm just searching for a little escape before reality bites me in the morning. So, London, are you in?
MJ
14. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
What kind of games are these? Hunger games?
Erika
15. Teen Wolf
Malia: He's my anchor.
Peter: We'll get you a new anchor. He's not coming back. He was hunted. He got caught.
Malia: You don't believe that. You risked your life to bring us his keys.
Peter: I risked my life to escape the hunt, not to reunite sentimental teenagers.
16. Agents of SHIELD
First of all, that thing is not a she. It's a damn robot. And second of all, what is the matter with you two chuckleheads? Have either one of you seen a movie in the last thirty years? The robots always attack.
Mack
17. Shooter
Bob Lee: Where is my family?!
Isaac: What did I tell you? Leave your emotions out of it.
18. This Is Us
Hey, did you know if you squint your eyes real hard and look at this bank statement, you can kind of see some extra zeros?
Jack
19. Incorporated
Today marks the anniversary of the ratification of the 29th amendment, granting corporations the sovereignty we needed and deserved. An act which freed us from the incompetence, regulations and tyranny of the federal government. We make our own laws, we supply the security. We do the things which government is no longer able to do. God bless America, and God bless Spiga.
Elizabeth
20. Salem
Marriage. Marriage is an honorable estate not entered into lightly. Soberly, in the fear of God. Lovers...lovers may be lunatics, and lovers may be beyond the reach of reason and law. True lovers...true lovers do not desire only love. They desire...they desire marriage. For if their love is the truest and noblest love conceivable, those lovers are only relieved by both being happy slaves to one another. You may now kiss the bride.
Cotton
21. Colony
Katie: What happened out there?
Will: It's some kind of EMP attack. Anything with a circuit got shut down.
Katie: Rob was on a plane...
Will: It's going to be alright.
22. Lethal Weapon
Bike cop: You're a cop? Seriously?
Riggs: Funny. I was going to ask you guys the same thing. You know, my father said a man should never wear shorts to work, but if he saw these shorts...you know it's the cut of them. That's what makes them sexy.
Bike cop: Three tickets.
23. Criminal Minds
Prentiss: You did great in San Diego. I'm glad you trusted your gut.
Walker: Thank you for listening. I've been on teams where opinions, especially new ones, aren't always valued.
Prentiss: That's the nice thing about this group. Everybody has a voice.
24. Code Black
EMT: Description?
Rollie: Approximately six months old, a female... Do I really have to describe an infant to you?! Tell you what, just bring me whatever babies you find. How's that?
25. Chicago PD
Jimmy: I'm here to see Erin Lindsay.
Platt: Regarding?
Jimmy: I'm her father.
Platt: Does she know this?
26. Law & Order: SVU
Sonny: When was the last time you were at Nadine's loft?
Gabriel: Two months ago. She broke it off with me. I never went back.
Fin: Why would anyone ever break up with you, Gabriel?
Gabriel: She said she was happier being a lesbian. Crazy bitch.
27. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
I am count Olaf the renowned actor and your new guardian. You're welcome.
Count Olaf
28. Nashville
Maddie: It was like I was her servant.
Daphne: Isn't that your job?
Maddie: What?
Daphne: You're an intern. That's literally what you get paid to do.
29. The Blacklist
Cliches work. That's how they get to be cliches.
Red
30. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Naomi: Hey! Don't yell at me in front of the Oriental! They're a very peaceful people.
Rebecca: Oh my god, you are so offensive.
31. Chicago Med
He's a really good surgeon. I just wish he wasn't such a dick.
Sarah [about Dr. Abrams]
32. The Vampire Diaries
Caroline: You're much older than you look.
Sybil: Talk to me in a thousand years and we'll see how well you're holding up.
33. MacGyver
Pilot: What's he doing?
Jack: He's being MacGyver.
34. Hawaii Five-0
I'm glad you find my intimate recollections so engrossing. I was under the impression you came here to help pack.
Max [to Jerry]
35. Grimm
You expect me to be your alibi for a murder you didn’t commit because you were *actually* murdering the person who *was* your alibi?
Adalind
36. Blue Bloods
Ernie: You always said if there was ever anything you could do for me when I get out…
Danny: That's something I say a lot. That's not actually something I mean when I say it.
