What a depressing episode.

First, Turtle gets politely pushed aside from a project he helped launch. Granted, no one was taking money out of his pocket, rendering him obsolete? Brutal. Alex not having the respect to break up with him in person was even worse, a total dick move. Way to reinforce the “women are shady” stereotype, Alex. Thanks for making the rest of us look bad.

No matter, though, Turtle will land on his feet. He always does. Time and time again Entourage has shown Turtle to be loyal, resilient and independent in his entrepreneurial endeavors... in between smoking copious amounts of weed, sure. But he’s still a stand-up guy.

When Turtle refused to leave Vince alone at Carl Ertz’s house and ultimately broke down the door (what’s the matter, Vince, afraid you’ll break a nail?) to find Ertz dead, I was almost relieved he was there to help Vince handle it all. I’m not sure how much help he can be when news breaks that Vincent Chase was involved in a coke-fueled suicide, but we’ll see how that all pans eventually.

Elsewhere on "One Last Shot," Dice did NOT land on his feet. Thank God he will not be returning to the screen any time soon. I couldn’t bear to see his crazy sideburns or hear him drop any more F-bombs; it was just too much. And who knew he borrowed his apartment from an early 90s music video. Neon, frosted glass and leopard print? Maybe Dice should’ve spent some time redecorating. He’ll have plenty of free time now, that’s for sure.

The move to swap him out for Jamie Kennedy’s awful Dice impersonation was classic Hollywood damage control, but it also seems like it may make Drama’s one big chance at career resurgence stall before it even leaves the gate. I hope I’m wrong. Or else I hope there’s another role out there where he gets to wear a Viking hat again. Either way.

As a side note: The permanent addition of Scott as a series regular(ish) was a strong move. He’s become one of my favorite Entourage men and perhaps the only one with the potential to bring the boys back to their roots of debauchery. If E’s smart, he’ll stick with Scott, if for no other reason than to let him kick up a little trouble in his social life. If the best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody else, Scott is brilliantly equipped to help him facilitate this mission. If, of course, E ever decides to use Scott to his full, sleazy d-bag potential.

We then move on to Ari trying to get his mojo back after years of being out of the dating scene. He’s like a romantic fossil. Covered in cobwebs. An analog phone, if you will.

On the one hand, it’s nice to see Ari so lovably clueless - but on the other, it’s no surprise that he reverted back to something familiar (i.e. Dana Gordon) to make him feel confident again. I actually like them together, but if Mrs. Ari finds out he’s moved on, it will definitely signal the death rattle for their relationship, making for some interesting therapy session content.

While it would be fun to see Ari sack and pillage all of Hollywood as promised (“women will fall and men will start wailing”) it wouldn’t feel authentic. We’re going to be rooting for Team Gold to reunite until the very last episode I surmise.

Viewers will also probably be rooting for Vince to get his image back, Drama to get his career back and Lloyd to rule his own pocket square-wearing media empire. Or maybe the last part’s just me. Whatever. Regardless, they’ve now used up almost half of this season getting the ball rolling, and practically ruined this episode by making it Dice top-heavy. Can next week turn things around?