To quote Uncle Jesse from my Full House days, "WHOAH BABY!"
Eric, Eric, Eric. See what happens when you spend too much time nailing step moms? You turn your ex-flames into actual moms. That is, if Sloan decides to lay claim to E's vertically challenged baby and the impossibly short arms he/she will inevitably have. Sigh.
But at least everyone else in the wolf pack seems to be on an honest to goodness upswing these days. It's about time Entourage knocked one out of the park.Thank goodness the action on "Second to Last" was more creative than its title. If I kicked off this rundown with anything other than the E/Sloan, ahem, development, I'd be remiss, so here goes:
Johnny Galecki's hair was really starting to bother me; Melinda's satin sheets and cougar-like grin were equally creepy; and Scott might've been right on the money when he called E a "little b*tch" because I'm assuming he was referring to Eric's couple's glamor shot screen saver. However, it showed that E still isn't over Sloan - duh - and maybe that means they have a snowball's chance in hell to fix things before she takes her trust fund east of the Mississippi.
Even though she's been really testy lately, I'd still like to see them get back on track. Sadly for E, Terence will probably reduce him to a red-headed stain on the carpet next week. Either way, it wasn't a terribly shocking twist in the plot, but a fun one nonetheless.
Another couple I'd been rooting for was Ari and Dana. Say it isn't so, Ari! I really, really, really (X 10,000) liked them together. Their banter was so sweet, and the fact that Dana was more sad than bitter about losing Ari shows she understands him. I'm still mourning the death of what could possibly have been the cutest power couple to hit L.A., and hoping that next week Mrs. Ari gets hit by something else (a bus, perhaps?) to prevent him from going back to her and her nagging ways.
I loved how Dana's advice about Mrs. Ari was so honest and simple - she's looking for something you're not giving her, figure out what it is. Even though things are getting really complicated in the Gold household, it's always smart to remember that what's at the core is perfectly uncomplicated. Also, I love how Ari surfs extremes. One second he's blubbering over how even the miner had a dog of his own, and the next he's threatening a room full of agents with cleaning tanning beds in "f*cking Rancho Cucamonga." Don't fret, Ari, maybe Phil Yagoda will get you a German Shepherd from his now financially-thriving charity.
Speaking of which, all hail Johnny Drama, king of C-list television projects! Even though Ari compared him to a special needs child, I still think he's a worthy cause to believe in and will end up rocking his new Movie of the Week. Plus, he showed his loyalty in delivering Vince's video to Sophia the Bore. PS, don't think we didn't catch that snarky little comment about Vince needing to read the Wall Street Journal because he's not smart enough for you, Sophia. Maybe condescending to people is cool in your country, but here it just makes you look like an uptight snob. I'd feel better about Vince going all Ghosts of Girlfriends Past for her if he was putting his efforts into someone who deserves it, but I'll reserve my official judgment on her until next week's finale.
Turtle's looking a lot hotter these days. Maybe it's because he lost a ton of weight. Or maybe it's because his phone is loaded up with A-Rod and Mark Teixeira's phone numbers (not to mention Amar'e, Melo and Eli Manning's digits). Or, maybe it's because he showed what a solid guy he is when he pleaded Vince's case to Sophia. Nah, who am I kidding? It's the $4 million he just scored. Well played, Vince, maybe you're not so stupid after all.
Now Turtle can stop clearing bongs and start clearing checks (Okay, he'll still clear bongs) and watch the money roll into his new restaurant. I'm not a big fan of Gina De Luca and her underbite, but I hope landing a killer space can sufficiently "impress" John and her enough to trust Turtle from here on out. Either way, Turtle - and the rest of them - are ballin' out these days.
And I, for one, am pretty damn excited to see how they're going to tie off this series next Sunday. Here's hoping it's with a big, Lloyd-shaped bow.
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