Modern Family Season Premiere Review: Cowboying Up

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As if the five Emmys and Sofia Vergara's gown didn't get you excited enough for the season three premiere of Modern Family, we got to travel with the family to Wyoming this week!

In "Dude Ranch", the Pritchett-Dunphy clan headed to Jackson Hole to get their cowboy on. There couldn't have been a more perfect setting for Phil to prove his manliness to Jay and for Mitchell to find some manliness of his own.

Modern Family Season 3 Premiere Pic

Now that Mitchell and Cam have officially decided to adopted a baby boy, Mitchell wanted to butch up a little bit so he could teach all the things to his son that he dad taught to Claire. I think Mitchell sold himself a little bit short here. After all, he's not the parent making glittered and animated scrapbooks for the adoption agency. So what if he can't play sports?

I almost forgot about the Phil/Dylan bromance until Phil popped his head into the campaign for Dylan to come on vacation. Claire may not like him, but, hey, Dylan said if Phil was out of the picture, he would gladly share her bed and help raise the children. How creepily sweet is that?

Well... it didn't help Dylan's case that he tried to propose to 17-year-old Hayley a few hours later. I was very amused, albeit not surprised, that Claire was the one who flipped out during the proposal and not Phil. Usually it's the father who is ready to throw down.

Then again, we all know it's Claire who wears the pants in the Dunphy family. Just like we know that Dylan would obviously use a trash bag as his luggage.

I would've given the premiere five stars if it weren't for how annoying the kid, who romanced Alex, was. What was with his Lucky Luciano wannabe accent? Granted, it wasn't as painful as Gloria's screaming, but Gloria gets a free pass because she's Gloria and she showed that horny cowboy who was boss.

By the way, did you all notice how much Alex enjoyed that kiss? Better watch out Dunphy family, Alex is about to be a freshman in high school and her hormones are raging!! Looks like Hayley might not be daughter one to worry about so much anymore.

And, with that, a look at the best Modern Family jokes from a fun opener?

Mitchell: I realized if I was gonna raise a boy, I was gonna have to butch up my life. I wanted to be able to teach all the things to my son that my dad taught... Claire. | permalink
Phil: Which one's "bossy?"
Cowboy: That's my nickname for your wife.
Phil: Haha awesome. | permalink
Mitchell: What's so great about destroying stuff?
Luke: It stuff into chunks of flying stuff! | permalink
Dylan: Just for the record Mrs. Dunphy, if Haley wasn't my girlfriend and Mr. Dunphy was out of the picture, I would be honored to share your bed and raise Luke, Alex and Hayley as my own. | permalink
Phil: I've been practicing like crazy all of my cowboy skills, shootin', ropin', pancake eatin'. Why? Because sometimes I feel like Jay doesn't respect me as a man. | permalink

Review

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Modern Family Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes

Phil: It's just that when you say "Phil is my son-in-law", it sounds like you're saying "Phyllis, my son-in-law."
Jay: That's ridiculous.
Phil: Who is your son-in-law?
Jay: Phyllis!

Look I'm the horse whisperer but something is making this one skittish!

Gloria [screaming]