Two and a Half Men Review: Goodbye Hipster Jesus!

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I can say whatever I want about this week's Two and a Half Men, but it will all come down to a former prison barber and the death of hipster jesus.

Already the target of celebrity gossip and TV news sites, Ashton Kutcher's, and thus Walden's, haircut was front and center this week, as Zoey made her man cut his hair for his corporate party.

There was sadly little else to the story - aside from the amazing joke of Alan's attempts that led to the episode's title, "A Possum on Chemo" - worth mentioning. It can pretty much all be summed up in one picture:

The New Walden

Wow. So what did you think of Walden's new clean face and combed 'do? Will his newfound ridiculously pretty looks help finally make you forget about Charlie Sheen?

As for the actual episode story and jokes, most of them were left in the capable hands of Alan and Lyndsey and their own little Beavis and Butthead, Jake and Eldritch.

There seems to be a lot more cheesy stoner humor this season, but the boys managed to land a few good ones, between spewing bug spray to clean up roaches and tricking Alan into heading off to Lyndsey's.

But that's when things got good for me, when we learned what keeps Lyndsey coming back to Alan: his low expectations and sexual prowess. Alan may have been less than pleased... but just pick up a copy of Cinnamon's Buns. Or any old season of Melrose Place on DVD. That's worth any amount of dead buffalo farts.

I always welcome her pretty face and crude humor around the Malibu beach house. If nothing else, it keeps Alan away from occupying two minutes of screen time, taking pictures for an online dating site. Unfortunately, it may be one less rubbing it out joke...

NOTE: TV Fanatic is looking for a new Two and a Half Men critic. Think you're up for the gig? If so, email a review of this episode to editor-in-chief Matt Richenthal ( as a writing sample. He'll look over the submissions and choose a writer to cover future episodes.

Thank you for reading - and good luck!


Editor Rating: 3.6 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 2.6 / 5.0 (123 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


I keep reading these comments of how terrible the show and how everyone would like to see Charle back.well thats not going to happen,this is all about money as long as you people watch the show and buy the products this show will still be on the air.And you will have to put up with the crap That Lorre is handing.You have to realize that he has a lot of the control over production and writing of the show .He doesn t care as long as he gets Paid[Money].Wake up People and Stop Watching the show it will die with out sponsors.


Hated the show and characters. No billionaire can be as stupid as they made walden.... Tonight's show seemed to step it up. Alan not as needy and openly pathetic and finally walden has some brains and confidence. Much more doable..




This season has given me such a dislike toward Alan's cheapness, desperation and disgusting sex life that I cannot even watch the old episodes. I can't stand to see that pitiful bastard!


This show is never the same!, it does not make any sense any more!, what is this guy doing there? he is not family?,


I hate this show now the connection that run threw the show left with charlie.
the speed of the jokes the humor even the shows personality have all gone Ashton is a nice guy but thats about it if they have to strip him to get there kicks in every show it just shows how much they are trying to keep the show going just for the money and not our entertainment. I do still watch all the old episodes with charlie but i am so gutted about such a loss of one of the best shows ever


This is not "Two an a half Men" any more... it's just "...Men"


I hate how they have made Jake a total stoner & Allen a total loser. The only positive thing I can say about it is they finally make AK look cleaner. The only resason we watch it is because of 2 Broke girls & Mike & Molly. If one of the other networks puts q 1/2 hour show in that time slot we would stop watching 2 1/2 Men in a heart beat.


Sorry, in my review I wrote "Through" when I should have written "Threw". The rest of my review stays the same:)


the show is ok (much better with sheen!) I hate the fact that they are making jake a pot head, hope they get away from this soon!! and they need berta more and also alans mom, Alans character is going down also to bad it was the best show on tv

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 13 Quotes

I tried, [the beard] grew in patchy. I looked like a possum on chemo.


When I was married to judith it was my choice to get a vasectomy, new kitchen, and a labradoodle with a diarrhea.