Conchata Ferrell stars as Berta on Two and a Half Men.  Berta is Charlie's sarcastic, unattractive maid that is definitely treated like one of the family by Charlie and Alan.

Despite her appearance, somehow Berta has several beautiful daughters, including one played by guest star Megan Fox.

Berta Quotes

Berta: Who's the Smurf?
Alan: The "Smurf" is my receptionist.
Berta: You're letting Charlie hit that?

Jake: Thanks for helping me with my book report, Prudence.
Prudence: Oh, no problem. Fourth grade stuff is easy for me.
Berta: Should be, you did it twice

Two and a Half Men Quotes

Charlie: For every gorgeous woman out there's a guy tired of banging her.
Alan: But that guy is never me.

Charlie: Oh, try
Alan: Pudding Girls?
Charlie: Trust me.
Alan: Oh ... ew.