Eric Cartman, or simply Cartman as his friends call him, is one of the four main children in South Park.  Cartman is generally the evil mastermind of the group and is best known for his portly status.  Cartman is the only child of Liane Cartman, a single "mother" who is also Cartman's father as a hermaphodrite. 

Eric Cartman Quotes

(As Steve Irwin) Look! A king croc! (Walks up to a cow) Now, what I'm going to do, is jam my finger up it's... (The cow sits on him, then gets up, with Cartman stuck in his butt) Hey, get me outta here! Huh, kinda smells like Kenny's house in here!

Cartman

Detective Sandy Vagina here thinks that "shit" might have something to do with everyone getting sick.

Cartman

South Park Quotes

Cartman: I'll make you eat your parents.
Ms. Choksondik: What did you say?
Cartman: Nothing

Somebody who would have sex with Kyle's mom would have sex with just about anything!

Stephen Stotch