Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Ashton Kutcher joined the cast of Two and a Half Men as Walden Schmidt, an Internet billionaire who buys Charlie Harper's Malibu beach home after the latter passed away.  Walden is recently having marital problems and who better to give him advice than his new roommate, Alan?

Walden Schmidt Quotes

Alan: The only reason to wear a hat on a date is to cover a bald spot.
Walden: Here you go, for your next date.

Walden: How do I look?
Alan: Your face should be on gay money.

Two and a Half Men Quotes

Charlie: Oh, try MalibuPuddingGirls.com.
Alan: Pudding Girls?
Charlie: Trust me.
Alan: Oh ... ew.

Charlie: For every gorgeous woman out there's a guy tired of banging her.
Alan: But that guy is never me.