Berta: What's this broad got that's so special? Charlie: A brain. Berta: What are you going to do with a brain? Charlie: It doesn't matter, she'll never call me. Berta: Awww! Don't talk like that. Just because she's smart and successful doesn't mean she's not damaged enough to go out with you.
Linda: Please, tell me you did not get yourself arrested just so you can see me? Charlie: Ummm! You got me. Linda: Charlie, what am I going to do with you? Charlie: Have dinner with me? Otherwise, we're looking at a crime spree here. Linda: Alright, one dinner. Now, step back. Charlie: (whispering) Yes, ma'am. Linda: How do you plead? Charlie: Guilty, your Honor. Linda: Is this your first offense? Charlie: Yes, your Honor. Linda: Alright, $500. Charlie: $500? Last time.... Linda: "Last time?" Charlie: Thank you, your Honor.