Oh, boo hoo. My super hot, super smart girlfriend likes me too much? McGee, this is not about space. It's about you being scared. Scared that things aren't going to work out, and somebody's going to get hurt, and then you have to deal with those messy emotions. Delilah is like the best thing that's ever happened to you. You can't protect yourself from everything.

I know rule 62 is to always give people space when they get off the elevator but this is really important and I don't want to waste any time.

Abby: I believe in magic, prayer and logic equally. Is that childish?
Honeycutt: No, it's impossible.
Abby: So is what you're saying.

Coyle: What is with you people? I am not the enemy. I am conducting a mandatory agent-involved shooting investigation.
Abby: Well I don't like it when people mess with my team.

Palmer: I've always been fascinated by private detectives.
Ducky: Yes, I would venture that's because you were influenced by the great literary British detectives. Sherlock Holmes, Jane Marple. They were all intelligent, cultured, articulate, refined. Not shady and unethical, like this hustler, this miscreant.
Abby: I like Ace Ventura.
Ducky: Who?

McGee: How long have they been at it?
Abby: Like an hour. I heard Ducky curse, ten minutes ago. I mean, well I think he did. I'm not that familiar with British profanity.

Emma: Can I ask you a favor?
Abby: Yeah.
Emma: Will you watch Dave for a while?
Abby: Sure! Why?
Emma: My parents got me a bus ticket to Nebraska.

Abby: Wish I could have done more to help him.
McGee: Abby you can't solve everyone's problems. Some people have demons they have to overcome.

Abby: Sometimes I love my job. And sometimes I have to crawl inside a giant septic tank.
Gibbs: Well it could be worse.
Abby: How?
Gibbs: Well I could have to climb in there with you.

Bishop: When my grandma died, it helped me just to talk about her. Maybe you guys could tell me what Jackson was like.
Abby: He gave the best hugs.
McGee: He was the only one that could the Gibbs stare at Gibbs.
Tony: With those icy blue eyes. He gave me the sweater off his back once. White. Two functional pockets. Very soft.

Vance: I'd go with the cat.
Abby: Yes, most of us would, but WMD.
Tony: WMD?
Abby: What would McGee do?
Tony: That's two Ws, Abs.
Abby: Whatever.

Gibbs: No costume this year?
Abby: After last year's Jonas Brothers debacle, Vance banned costumes. McGee? Skinny jeans? Didn't work.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: (on the phone) Hey Probie, what I am looking at?
Vance: A career in the fast food industry.
Tony: Director Vance. How are you, sir?

Vance: So, what are you gonna tell her? (Gibbs turns to face him) Lee a hero or a villain?
Gibbs: Both.