Favorite Andy Dwyer Quotes
I'll never be a cop! I'll have to be a robber...
By day. Andy Dwyer, shoeshinist. By different time of day, Andy Radical, possum tackler. And by night? Do whatever I want, no job.
Ann: Let me ask you something. I'm hot.
Andy: Is that a question?
Hey, Leslie. I have an idea. Why don't we put Eduardo in there and seal the top so that he suffocates and dies.
Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants! Band name I call it! Or maybe just Fleetwood Mac.
Hey, Mark. The shoe shine stand still doesn't have that syphilis medication you were asking about.
Andy: Do you have a key in your shoe?
Ron: No, no. I have a bunion that's practically it's own toe. Normally the pain howls through my loafers like a banshee on the moors, but these past three minutes its been reduced to a faint growl.
Andy: Let me explain something to you, Tweep. When you're in a situation, you don't have time to think. So I thought to myself, "Don't think, Andy. Act."
Tom: So, you weren't thinking?
Andy: Not at all. I cannot emphasize enough how little I was thinking.
Is Mark the guy who's fixing your shower? Because I don't know about you, Mark, but I've seen a lot of porn, and I know what "fixing your shower" means.
Yo. So I feel like you were mad at me yesterday and I don't know why so I made a list of everything I did and I'm going to try not to do any of them again.
Andy: How long is it going to last?
Ron: If we're lucky this building will be empty for months.
Coffee is my favorite non-alcoholic hot drink, except for hot tea. And hot orange juice. Weirdly delicious.
