Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSFavorite Andy Torres Quotes
Bobby: You need to go hit it and quit it.
Andy: Toot it and boot it.
Laurie: Whip it and skip it.
Bobby: Wax it and tax it.
Andy: Mother it and smother it.
Laurie: Bop it and drop it.
Grayson: Chuck it and ... re-chuck it.
Laurie: Yours don't make any sense.
Andy: I volunteer at the women's shelter too. During self-defense classes, the women take turns kicking me in the crotch.
Grayson: So it's like a regular day at home for you.
Bobby: You need to get place with there's no sexual desire left whatsoever.
Andy: I can probably do that, if I spend a little a private time with you know myself.
Bobby: There's nothing wrong with making shower babies. It's not a sin if you're doing it for love.
Jules: Andy let the ice cream melt so he had to die.
Ellie: It's only pretend murder. We used to fight so much about the little things, now, whenever I get so mad that when I want to kill him I just do it.
Andy: It's been a great tool in our marriage
Ugh. Its really hard to chug pinot.
Andy: He's your son.
Ellie: He needs to learn.
[Andy and Ellie watching their sex tape]
Andy: Is my back really that hairy?
Ellie: Yes
Andy: Is this in slow motion?
Ellie: No
Andy: Can we just erase this?
Ellie: Yes
Ellie: When Andy and I met, we were in the same circle of friends, but basically, it was just a doink chain that I worked my way around.
Andy: And guess who was last?
Andy [to Bobby]: We get along so well, our sons should hang out
Travis: Mr. Torres, I'm 16 years older than your son
Jules: All together now -
Everyone: If it's on the internet, it must be true!
Jules: Exactly now, everyone sip please.
Travis: Afternoon booze bags. What are we celebrating now?
Jules: Science.
Jules: Oh look who got laid last night
Andy: That's right chumps, missionary accomplished!
Andy: Ellie's just jealous because she thinks I care more about you than her.
Bobby: Do you?
Andy: Yes, it's not even close.
