Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSPopular Andy Torres Quotes
Andy [to Bobby]: We get along so well, our sons should hang out
Travis: Mr. Torres, I'm 16 years older than your son
Jules: Oh look who got laid last night
Andy: That's right chumps, missionary accomplished!
[Andy and Ellie watching their sex tape]
Andy: Is my back really that hairy?
Ellie: Yes
Andy: Is this in slow motion?
Ellie: No
Andy: Can we just erase this?
Ellie: Yes
Ellie: Why are your boyfriends acting so weird?
Andy: First of all, only Bobby is my boyfiend and they're not acting weird.
Stan's an explorer like Magellan... or Dora.
Travis: Does this mean my girlfriend doesn't like my short stories?
Andy: Of course not, Trav. No one does.
Andy: Can you forget that was your mom?
Travis: No problem.
Andy: When a woman has just dominated another woman, she feels ferocious. This is a great time to ask for sex.
Travis: Mom is sort of creeping back in.
Andy: I never said this was gonna be easy. Come on.
Travis: Why am I still following?
Travis, women will always drive us nuts, but have compassion for they only behave that way to protect themselves. They date men they feel superior to so they can't get hurt.
Ellie: Why are those two so mopey?
Andy: You know that secret I've been keeping since Thanksgiving? Well I'll save the heart burn and stress so I'm just gonna let it out. Bobby and Grayson are both kind of interested in Jules.
Ellie: Are you telling me the overly flirty next door neighbor and the ex-husband who's never not here both like Jules? That is a revelation!
Bobby: Come on man, it's time to start living like you have a mustache.
Grayson: Now that's gibberish.
Andy: No, it's not. It means I have to ask myself the ultimate question, what would Burt Reynolds do?
Grayson: Whoa, Andy, what's up?
Andy: I brought over pizza and beer.
Grayson: Why?
Andy: You know... I'm not sure.
Grayson: Okay, well, I have to go open up my restaurant, so...
Andy: I can't go home yet. They'll just make me come back.
Ellie: It's your turn, best war story from your twenties.
Jules: Once when I was 22, I had a baby and I stayed home by myself raising him for the rest of my twenties. The end
Andy: Boo!
