Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSPopular Andy Torres Quotes
Ellie: How are you not embarrassed?
Bobby: Sorry Ellie, can't be done.
Andy: It's true, this is the guy who's main goal in life is to party so hard he craps his pants in every country.
Bobby: I already knocked off America and Mexico. Mexico was easy.
Ellie: When Andy and I met, we were in the same circle of friends, but basically, it was just a doink chain that I worked my way around.
Andy: And guess who was last?
Bobby: You need to get place with there's no sexual desire left whatsoever.
Andy: I can probably do that, if I spend a little a private time with you know myself.
Bobby: There's nothing wrong with making shower babies. It's not a sin if you're doing it for love.
Ellie: Andy, punishment for cheating?
Andy: Removing my own genitalia with garden shears while you watch.
Andy: It's never that hard for me.
Jules: That's what he said!
Andy: Stop - it's just a tiny thing.
Ellie: That's what he said!
Andy: You ruined it. You ruined my gift!
Jules: All together now -
Everyone: If it's on the internet, it must be true!
Jules: Exactly now, everyone sip please.
Travis: Afternoon booze bags. What are we celebrating now?
Jules: Science.
I love it - it's like we're in prison.
Ugh. Its really hard to chug pinot.
Ellie: Are you Cuban today?
Andy: I will be if you like it.
Ellie: Yeah I like it.
Jules: Some of us over did it at the pre no more alimony party party, so I made these margaritas with crushed up aspirin.
Andy: They should market this to drunks! Or us.
Ellie: It's your turn, best war story from your twenties.
Jules: Once when I was 22, I had a baby and I stayed home by myself raising him for the rest of my twenties. The end
Andy: Boo!
