NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSFavorite Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Abby: Is that broken?
Tony: No Mrs. Mulwray, but I damned near lost my nose. I like breathing through it.
Abby: Mrs. Mulwray
Tony: Faye Dunaway and of course Mr. Jack.
Ziva: Yeah, I know. Chinatown.
Tony: Come on, computers are your thing! If I had a thing I'd want to show it off.
Gibbs: There are rules against that, DiNozzo.
McGee: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you, in some kind of twelve-stop program for recovering misogynists?
Tony: These past few weeks have been.....interesting, haven't they? It's just gotten me thinking about the choices that we make and the people that we let in, or don't let in. Just trying to make it better. Any more questions?
McGee: Yeah. What'd you do with the real Tony?
Tony: Maybe this is the real Tony.
Liz Allen: I think my husband's having an affair.
Tony: Unbelievable. A guy'd have to be nuts to cheat on a dame like you.
Tony: All right, Annie Leibowitz, what's wrong with my pictures?
Nora: Well, they're sort of soulless. Analytical. They look like postcards or -
Ziva: Crime scene photos.
Salim: [re: truth serum] It will not take long for it to start working.
Tony: You're gonna be dead soon, you know.
Come on, $22 a pound for rib eye? That's the real crime.
Tony: Oh, glad you could join us McTardy.
McGee: Where's the bossman? I need a superior to sign off on this.
Tony: Hand it over, I'm clearly superior to you in so many ways.
Reminds me of my first apartment in college. You can almost smell the Ikea.
Nora: You are so direct. So honest. So different from him.
Ziva: Tony and I have different approaches.
Nora: You're complimentary. You're sure you two never -
Ziva: No. Positive. Definitely no. Why do you keep on asking about Tony and I?
Nora: You're like me and Daniel. A good fit. Besides, Paris is a romantic city and you two shared a room, so I -
Ziva: I took the couch. Otherwise Tony would have whined the entire flight about his back.
Tony: What's with the sushi bar?
Ducky: Staff Sargeant Cryer's body was not alone on its considerable time adrift.
Tony: Yum.
Ducky: That's probably what they said when they were feeding on his flesh.
Tony: Why do you find it so hard to believe that I could hack that sucker out?
Ziva: You cannot even work your email properly! You always reply to "ALL" - it drives me absolutely nuts! You know, when it comes to computers, you are almost as incompetent as Gibbs... (She freezes)
Tony: Ha! You thought Gibbs was behind you! You know why? Because sneaky people expect sneakiness - it's a vicious circle.
