NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSFavorite Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Tony: Looks like someone dropped a cocktail weenie.
Ducky: I have a riddle for you; What is not food, but tastes very well. I'll give you a hint. And you should come up with an answer before Officer David, since it's right on the...
Tony: Tip of your tongue.
Tony: It's like Alien. The Ridley Scott classic, the creepy one.
McGee: As opposed to the non-creepy ones?
Tony: It's weird doing this stuff without her [Abby] isn't it? It's like going to a puppet show, except all the puppets are just laying there on the stage. These dead puppets. Sorry.
Ziva: Why are you sorry?
Tony: It's ...
Ziva: My father dies and all of a sudden you cannot talk to me about dead puppets. I'm fine, Tony.
Tony: [points to casket] Hop in.
McGee: Why would I do that?
Tony: We take a picture, pretend that you're dead, and you don't have to retake the polygraph!
McGee: Tony that is not funny.
Tony: They already think you're ducking them. It's only going to get worse.
Come on, $22 a pound for rib eye? That's the real crime.
Gibbs: Rule number eleven, DiNozzo.
Tony: I would never date a coworker, Boss. Trust me. I mean, why would you even... That's twelve. Eleven... when the job is done, walk away.
Fraternization in the workplace. Never a good idea.
Tony: Well, that's my name, it's not my signature. But that's my name. And to think I almost made entire year without being accused of murder.
Desk Clerk: The guy did look a lot like you.
Tony: Not helping.
Desk Clerk: Was a little more fit though.
Tony: Well you have got a long list of juvie priors, a history of possessions and frankly a blood workout that makes Sid Vicious look clean.
Wyath: Sid who?
McGee: Boss I'm sorry. I know. I know. I'm an hour and forty six minutes late.
Tony: Forty-seven Tim Tebow. Better put a knee down. Start praying.
Gibbs: Let's go, McGee. Sick bay. Come on.
Tony: I love it when he's late.
Tony: Baby, I'm amazed. A maze of maize.
Ziva: What?!
Tony: Maize. It's the Indian word for corn.
Ziva: The Indian word for corn is maki.
Tony: Not Indians from India! Indians from, you know, here!
Ziva: Well if they were Indians from here then we would be called American Indians, you dork.
Tony: They'd be called Native Americans, Miss Citizenship Test.
McGee: Tony, I am not arguing with you.
Tony: You are arguing now.
McGee: No I'm not!
Tony: Yes you are!
McGee: This is not an argument.
Tony: Yes it is.
McGee: No it's not!
Tony: It is
