Tom: What do you know? You don't care about things.
April: Yes I do. I care about Andy and Champion ... and I want Leslie to win. And I like sleeping.

Gilles: All due respect Miss Ludgate, do you even know what you're doing here?
April: All due respect Mr. Hamster Penis, but no, I don't.

Chris: I'm engrossed in this book. It's the true story of a woman born with no arms and no legs who attempted to swim the English Channel.
April: That's impossible.
Chris: Oh she drowned immediately. It's kind of a sad story.
April: Cool.

I don't want to do things. I want to not do to things like you taught me.

I hate him for this stupid reason.

I dig your groovy tunes man.

Oh I don't know Jerry, it's Sunday night, I'm making phone calls to strangers, and you're in my house. My life couldn't be worse.

I don't care about that prize, but I'm gonna win because I want his happiness to away.

To the better place world, Fred.

I wished for his happiness to go away. I might be a wizard.

Hey, Ann, are you still a nurse or did they fire you because you slept with all the doctors?

Ann: You just hired me like eight seconds ago.
April: Wow, you're doing a really bad job.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Sometimes when you make an omelet you've gotta break a few eggs. What's the alternative? No omelets at all? Who wants to live in that kind of world? Maybe birds. Then all their babies would live.

Leslie

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April