Barney Stinson Quotes (Page 25)
Season 5, Episode 8: "The Playbook"
Girl: Really, a genie comes out of it?
Barney: Only if you rub it hard enough.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Barney: I think we all know who's responsible for this.
Lily: Yes we do.
Barney: Al Qaeda.
Lily: No, you idiot. It was me.
Barney: YOU sonofabitch!!!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Barney: [narrating] All you have to walk up to every single girl and say "He's not coming."
Girl: What are you talking about?
Barney: Never mind.
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Barney: The Lorenzo van Matterhorn will be my triumphant return to the stage! Or, you know, the bed. Actually, my bed is kind of a stage. I could put a platform underneath, make it a real production ...
• Rating: 4.9 / 5.0
Barney: Cheap tricks? Not one of these is a cheap trick! [pauses] Well, except for the Cheap Trick.
• Rating: Unrated
Barney: I hope you're happy with yourself. You broke that girl's heart!
Lily: Me?!
Barney: You! She'll probably never trust a guy again. You ruined her for Ted! Not to mention Julio van Matterhorn, Lorenzo's twin brother.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lily: That is awful. You realize you broke her heart, right? She's inconsolable!
Barney: Why would she be inconsolable? Lorenzo's balloon won't disappear over the arctic for another week.
• Rating: Unrated
Lily: Don't you think you're rushing back into this?
Barney: Lily, since I stopped dating Robin, there's this thing I haven't used as much as I would like. It's kind of big. Surprisingly heavy. Kind of leathery. And it's black.
Lily: Huh?
Barney: This, my friends, is the playbook!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Barney: An actress? Of course, that explains her impeccable diction and her slutiness
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lily: Barney I've had Shelly set aside for three years
Barney: Dude, Ted was not missing out. She's brainy and annoying. Kind of boring in the sack. Oh I guess she would have been perfect for Ted. Whoops.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 554
