Barney Stinson Quotes
[drunk, on phone] Hey Robin, it's Barn Door. Guess what, I'm open!
Barney: I stand by what I did. It was bold and romantic.
Ted: You soiled yourself from both ends of your body.
[after reading his letter] There's just a bunch of drawings of boobs.
Don: Guys, I came to apologize. I overreacted.
Barney: It's okay. We said some very hurtful things.
Don: No you didn't.
Barney: Right, that was after you left.
I must have Robin back.
Ted: You're moving in with him?
Robin: I'm considering it.
Barney: You're considering it? You barely know him! Plus, he's a loser with a dead end job!
Robin: We have the same job.
Barney: So I'm banging this Portuguese contortionist, right, and she's so flexible that at one point she was both on top of me AND underneath me. Up top AND down low! Who needs drinks?
Ted: [to Don] He means well ... actually I'm not sure if that's true.
[repeated line] Robin cried at Clint's song!
[to Robin] I'm sorry, they're all out of pretzels. I know how emotional they make you. It's okay. Let it go.
Ted: The auction was yesterday, my bid was accepted and I signed the papers this morning!
Barney: Was the Blair Witch easy to deal with or did she haggle over closing costs?
Ted: This is going to be the home I share with my future wife.
Barney: Is she in the room with us now, Ted?
[to Ted] Your mom and I got to second base.
