Favorite Bob Kelso Quotes
Elliot: Dr. Kelso, you do realize you don't work here anymore
Kelso: Look, her husband was an old friend of mine, plus I have forgotten more medicine than you two will ever know. [to Denise] I don't know you but I assume I have you beat because you're blond and rolling with ms reeks of beer
Elliot: It's my hair, okay?
Denise: And watch the lip, grandpa, because you wouldn't be the first old man I beat up
Kelso: I like her, she has girl balls
Kelso: You have the voice of an angel.
Ted and Gooch: Aww, thank you.
Kelso: Not you, Ted.
Kelso: If I were ten years younger, and you were tens year younger.
Ted: It's too late, sir, I already tapped it.
Dr. Kelso: Ahhh! Dr. Turkleton!
Turk: Actually, sir, it's Turk.
Dr. Kelso: That's your first name.
Turk: You think my name is Turk Turkleton?
Well snip my pickle and call me Shlomo!
Dr. Kelso
Dr. Kelso: Nurse Espinosa, I need your help with something. My dog, Baxter, passed away last night. I dealt with it emotionally but, unfortunately, I can't stop crying. Anyway, I need you to run interference for me today; keep people from seeing me looking vulnerable and so forth.
Carla: So, you think I'll automatically do this? You think my ego is so big that I'll be flattered that I'm the only one you can open up to? I'll do it.
Dr. Kelso: Son, have you used drugs in the last 48 hours?
Patient: Oh no sir. Never use drugs.
Dr. Kelso: Because this shot you're about to get could kill you if it's mixed with narcotics.
Patient: Oh drugs! Yes sir, all the time!
Dr. Kelso: See? Waiting for the tox-screen, six hours. Frightening the bejeebies out of the local riff-raff, 10 seconds.
Dr. Kelso: Perry: your lips, my ass.. they should meet.
Perry, what has two thumbs and still doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso! I thought we'd met.
Dr. Kelso
Dr. Cox: But you hate me?!
Dr. Kelso: Like nuts in brownies, Captain
Dr. Cox: Well, then, I don't get your angle. What could you possibly want from me in exchange for my support? Because I'm telling you right now, I am not dating that daughter of yours.
Dr. Kelso: I only have a son.
Dr. Cox: That's my bad - I was just going by that picture on your desk
Dr. Kelso: So, you want me to approve surgery on a 76-year-old man with no insurance and no life-threatening condition. Young man, I'm curious: what did you think the end result of this conversation would be?
J.D.: Well, pretty much this, except I'm really invested and so I thought I might try crying a little
Dr. Cox: Dear God, she has an actual skip in her step.
Dr. Kelso: Doesn't bother me as much as the whistling.
