Scrubs

Bob Kelso Quotes (Page 4)

Jordan: Hello Bob...No cheek kiss necessary.
Dr. Kelso: Oh good, I have pipe breath. Sooo...When was the last time I was here, '97? I know it has been a while because Enid could still fit through that door. I shouldn't joke, she is very ill.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Kelso: Just because I can't hear your silly-ass whispering doesn't mean I'm old. As a matter of fact, I'm going to go over to my office and tinker with my new computer.
Turk: Ooh, what kind is it?
Dr. Kelso: It's about 3:30.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Kelso: Hey! Thanks to your little "telling me the wrong time prank" I was 45 minutes late for my oriental massage which meant that instead of Pang Wa I had to settle with Ching Yao.
Janitor: So?
Dr. Kelso: Ching Yao is a DUDE!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: You know, Bobbo, I find you less repungent of late. Dare I say I'm developing a begrudging indifference to you.
Dr. Kelso: You're so edgy and cantankerous. You're like House without the limp.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: At least you stopped crying.
Dr. Kelso: Not really. My body just can't produce tears anymore because I've intentionally dehydrated myself. It's a risky move, I know, but Dr. Jarvis here said it'd be alright.
Carla: There's nobody standing behind you.
Dr. Kelso: I'm going to need an IV.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Kelso: Nurse Espinosa, I need your help with something. My dog, Baxter, passed away last night. I dealt with it emotionally but, unfortunately, I can't stop crying. Anyway, I need you to run interference for me today; keep people from seeing me looking vulnerable and so forth.
Carla: So, you think I'll automatically do this? You think my ego is so big that I'll be flattered that I'm the only one you can open up to? I'll do it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: Hey Carla! You're glowing!
Carla: (Smiling) Really?!
Dr. Kelso: Nurse Espinosa, have your breasts gotten bigger?
Carla: Wow, Dr. Kelso! That's innapropriate!
Turk: Baby, that sounds like a compliment to me. Maybe you're just a little hormonal...
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Kelso: All day sucker my ass. Try twenty minutes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: Sir, quick question?
Dr. Kelso: Make it very quick. I'm about to vomit.
Carla: Why was I told to drop everything and look after some new patient coming in?
Dr. Kelso: Mr. Sommers is the cousin of one of the trustees. Not important enough to warrant any face time with me, but connected enough that if one of these ding-dongs kills him it'll be my ass.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Carla, can you cover my patients?
Dr. Kelso: She's already watching someone for me.
J.D.: Alright, I'll find somebody else.
Carla: Why, because I'm just a nurse I can't look after everybody?
Dr. Kelso: Precisely.
 • Rating: Unrated

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