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Cougar-town

Bobby: You know how old I was the first time I got really drunk?
Travis: I dunno, nine?
Bobby: Trick question. Never been really drunk. I have got a monster tolerance. The point is...
Travis: No dad, there is no point to that story.
Bobby: Okay, the completely new thought is...

Bobby: Look at this office! If I ever sold my boat I could live here.
Andy: No.

I put you in beer can jail for partying too hard.

Bobby: Come on man, it's time to start living like you have a mustache.
Grayson: Now that's gibberish.
Andy: No, it's not. It means I have to ask myself the ultimate question, what would Burt Reynolds do?

I'm not quite sure how I feel about Jules. It's a lot like soccer in that way.

Jules: Wow, it' my first very golf cart ride of shame.
Bobby: It's not that bad, just pretend like you're coming home from a ball or something.
Jules: Yeah, I'm Cinderella.

Bobby: I'm going through stuff too. They're repaving the parking lot where I keep my boat so I'm going to have to move. It's time like this I wish I had my own parking lot.
Jules: Really? That's what you wish for?

Bobby: You get a tiny leak in a dam, you gotta plug it up real quick or you'll be in a car with no breaks traveling down trouble highway.
Grayson: Wait, is the highway flooded? Where is this dam? You are mixing metaphors like a crazy person.
Bobby: My mom says I'm colorful.

Bobby: Come on T-bone, you can take my ride.
Travis: You know putting golf cart keys on a Ferrari keychain doesn't make it a Ferrari?
Bobby: I was being ironic.

Bobby: The paint can game is the greatest thing I've ever created in my life.
Travis: And thank you dad.

It's been awhile since I wore a tie, I keep thinking someone's trying to strangle me.

Bobby: When I was married, you know what Jules said to me?
Grayson: Please stop sleeping with other women?

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 66 in total
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