Favorite Bree Hodge Quotes
Bree: It's six o'clock. How long have you been kneeling there?
Keith: I don't know, but after you answer this, I'm gonna need you to help me up.
(At Gabrielle's house)
Edie: You know when Karl dumped you Susan, I thought that it was all your fault. Yeah, I figured that you were a nag or bad in bed. But now, but now I see that you were just a victim too. We have a bond, Susan. Like we're sisters. There's even a pretty one and an ugly one.
Bree: Edie!
Edie: Oh I'm just saying that Karl screwed us both!
Susan: Yes, like you wouldn't believe.
Bree: I think you'd love the opera. The music and the voices, it's just all so passionate.
Peter: Yeah, three hundred-pound soprano seducing balding tenors. That'd be hot!
Bree: My husband, the man I spent my life with for eighteen years, died thinking that I murdered him!
Susan: What?
Bree: Yes, the cardiologist shared this moronic theory with Rex and Rex believed him!
Gabrielle: Are you sure?
Bree: Yes, because he left a note. And it said, and I quote, "Bree, I understand and I forgive you." I spent eighteen years of my life with this man. How could he not know me?
Edie: Well, maybe he was forgiving you for something else.
Bree: I have done nothing to be forgiven for! I was a fantastic wife! When he was sick, I nursed him. When we were low on money, I stayed within a budget. I cooked his meals, I mended his clothes. For the love of God, I used to check his back for acne. And that miserable son of a bitch has the nerve to understand and forgive me! Well, the joke's on him because I do not understand and I do not forgive!
Those were some kick a** peanut butter cookies!
(after Andrew tells her he hates her) The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care, and we're still connected and I still have a chance to set you right.
Bree: Camp Hennessy. Teaches kids respect for authority and boundaries in a summer camp-like atmosphere.
Rex: The perimeter is surrounded by an electrified fence!
Bree: Well, you have to admit that's an efficient way to teach respect for boundaries
Even Italians take a break now and then!
Bree: Excuse me. Do you have the time?
Alfred: Yeah, it's just after 8.
Bree: Oh, I was afraid of that.
Alfred: Afraid of what?
Bree: Well, I'm only supposed to be restrained until 7. You see, I have a problem with sleepwalking. They just tie me up so that I don't wander off and hurt myself.
Alfred: Yeah, well, I'm sure a nurse will be in here soon.
Rex: What do you say Bree, do we send the vultures home?
Bree: I want to keep the club membership. Rex is terrible at tennis and hates buffets
Rex: Hey!
Bree: I'm not speaking to you.
Rex: Didn't like the settlement talks, huh?
Bree: You only demanded the good china because you know I love it.
Rex: You take our timeshare in Aspen, and I'm vindictive? Come on! You'll hardly ever use that place!
Bree: Hardly? How about never!
Rex: I mean, fine. When I move out, I'm going to use your good china for take out food. Yeah. Pizza, spare ribs...
Bree: You know what? At our next settlement talks, I plan on asking for your golf clubs!
Rex: Isn't divorce fun?
Lynette: You can tell them how beautifully behaved the twins are.
Bree: So you want me to lie?
Lynette: I thought that was understood
