Peter: Your son threatened you with repressed memories? Oh, my god, he is seriously twisted. I gotta meet this kid.
Bree: You sound like you're impressed.
Peter: I sorta am. Sounds like you're definitely raising an alpha male.
Bree: I'm raising a monster is what I'm raising. It's no wonder I drink.

Peter: Anyway, here's my card and if you ever do have a problem and feel like talking give a call, ok?
Bree: I know you think I'm kidding myself but I'm not! I'm nothing like you people! I just don't have a compulsive personality.

Bree: (about Karl and Susan) Did he just call her "baby"?
Gabrielle: Yeah, when did THEY stop hating each other?!

Bree: Hello there. I thought you and your friend might like some snacks.
Andrew: He's my lawyer and this is privileged communication so get out.

Bree: Is this Libby's real hair color?
Gabrielle: Yes, it's all natural, from her straight teeth to her C cup. And I know she's athletic because she's a pole dancer, so I really hope that my little girl inherits that as well. No, the athletic gene, not the pole dancing gene.

Bree: Well, I'm still appalled that you're helping my son with this ridiculous emancipation scheme, but you are a guest in my house and guests get sandwiches.
Andrew: You know, if you'd let me go to his office, you wouldn't have to pretend to be nice to him.
Bree: Andrew, there may be a judge out there stupid enough to emancipate you, but until you find him, I retain all my parental rights. One of which is to ground your sorry behind until kingdom come. Mr. Bormanis, nice to see you again, and, um, please don't get crumbs on my carpet.

Bree: Tonight was a very unusual situation. I wish you could've known me when Rex was alive and my kids were young and everything was the way it was supposed to be. I think you really would've liked me so much.
Peter: I like you just fine.
Bree: Really? Because I don't.

Bree: Are you a friend of Andrew's?
Sam: I'm his lawyer.
Bree: His lawyer? Why on earth would Andrew need a lawyer?
Andrew: (gives Sam a glass of water) Here you go Sam.
Bree: Huh! Honey what happened to your face?!
Andrew: You hit me... Don't you remember?

Bree: Did Lynette mention the little tiff we had?
Susan: Just in passing...
Gabrielle: She barely mentioned it...
Bree: What happened was... I accidently mixed my medication with, you know, a little glass of wine I was having and I fell asleep while I was watching her kids. I mean I like a little wine with dinner... I mean now and then... You know, who doesn't? But, you know... To trash my entire reputation...
Gabrielle: She didn't trash you... Honest.
Bree: Well, good... I really don't want you to get the wrong impression. Oh, I'm going to the mall today, they have a white sale. I'm going to get a new bath mat. Does anyone need one?
Gabrielle: I'm good... (After Bree left the two) WOW! Did you smell the alcohol in her breath?
Susan: I sure did...

Bree: If you need a drive to school, I'm happy to drive you.
Andrew: That's not what I want... I want a car.
Bree: Well, then I suggest you get a job.
Andrew: Why should I have to go work my ass off at some fast food place if I can already afford what I want?
Bree: Andrew, we're not touching your trust fund.
Andrew: It's my money!
Bree: Not until you're 21, and if I had my way you wouldn't put your hands on it until you're 50! I mean we both know you're gonna waste every penny of it.

Bree: For the record, I did not punch my son I slapped him with an open palm.
Andrew: Yeah, but Mom, the thing is... When you drink, you don't know your own strength.
Bree: This is ridiculous! Can't you see this is a performance?!

(after Andrew tells her he hates her) The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care, and we're still connected and I still have a chance to set you right.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 226 in total
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