Bree: Hello?
Gabrielle: Hi, there.
Mary Alice: I'm Mary Alice. This is Susan, uh, Lynette and Bree.
Susan: Welcome to the neighborhood.
Gabrielle: Well, I am Gabrielle Solis.
Lynette: Would it be better if we came back at another time?
Gabrielle: Oh! No, no. I was... just changing out of my sweaty clothes. I didn't realize moving was such great cardio.

Bree: Um, we, uh, just came over to introduce ourselves, but we can, um, do that at another time.
Tom: No, wait. Please stay. It's okay. We're okay. We're okay, right? Honey, we don't wanna freak out the new neighbors.
Lynette: I'm sorry that you saw my panic attack. I won't let it happen again, especially since this is my last pregnancy.
Tom: Right. You're the boss. I'm just your love slave.
Susan/Mary Alice: Aw.
Lynette: Well, don't encourage him.
Tom: Honey, clearly, our new neighbors see that you have been gifted with a phenomenal husband.

Lynette: Hi.
Tom: Hi.
Mary Alice: Hi, uh, we just wanted to come welcome you to the neighborhood.
Bree: Um, but we could come back later.
Lynette: Yeah. No, wait. Actually, wait. This is perfect. You know why? Because we need some impartial judges.
Tom: Lynette...
Lynette: Let's suppose your husband begged you to get pregnant-- begged you--and out of the goodness of your heart, you agreed, even though it might derail your career.
You agreed to a baby. A baby, singular.
Tom: Lynette, we've just met these people.

Susan: Hey, what's going on?
Mary Alice: Oh, um, this is our new neighbor. It seems her son accidentally took my garden frog.
Susan: Oh.
Bree: Please don't make excuses for him. That is exactly what his father does. Rex!

Bree: I can tell by your tone that you don't believe me.
Dr. Barr: Bree, let's talk about this in my office.
Bree: I don't have time for therapy, you quack! Now let me out of here! Let go of me! You idiot. Let go of me! You know I committed myself voluntarily! You can't do this to me! No!
Dr. Barr: Bree, please, don't struggle.
Bree: If anything happens to my daughter, so help me, god...
Dr. Barr: We're only trying to help.

Gabrielle: Susan. We've all been talking. We've decided that you and Julie should stay with Bree.
Susan: Oh, thanks, but that's okay. We'll stay in a motel.
Bree: Absolutely not. Just give me an hour or two to straighten up Andrew's room and then you can bring yourselves over.
Susan: I don't deserve friends like you.
Lynette: We're aware of that.

This cake is a symbol of my love!

Bree: Hello. My name is Bree Van de Kamp and I'd like to admit myself for psychiatric observation.
Receptionist: All right, what seems to be the problem?
Bree: I think I'm about to have a nervous breakdown.

Bree: Surprise!
Danielle: What the hell is that?
Bree: Isn't it darling? I made it for your party. It's a big one and a big seven, for seventeen!
Danielle: Were you up all night making that thing?
Bree: Yeah, I just wasn't tired. Oh, I want to show you what else I planned. I think you're gonna love it.

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