Bree Hodge Quotes
Bree: Perception is reality, Andrew. And if people perceive me to have a drinking problem, then I do. And I certainly don't want some idiotic judge using my hobby as an excuse to make you rich. So I'm simply going to give up my wine and become a recovering alcoholic.
Andrew: Good plan, but it'll never work. See, I'll bet you still end up coming to court hammered.
Bree: Oh, Andrew, you don't think I love you enough to give up alcohol?
Andrew: Look, I'm seventeen, all right? So, you can only keep me here for another year. Why not just let me go?
Bree: Because I'm not done with you yet. It's my job to teach you and you are not half the man I know you can be.
Andrew: Yeah, well, I got news for you. This is as good as I'm gonna get.
Bree: If I really thought that, I'd get a gun right now and kill us both.
Bree: For god sakes, it was an honest mistake. I thought I could have just a little bit of wine with dinner, but, apparently, my body couldn't handle it. Fine! If it makes everybody happy, I will just suffer through my sneezing fits and my hives on my own. There. Is that better?
Andrew: So basically you would rather drink than to not have allergies?
Bree: Tony, how many more arias is he going to sing?
Tony: Five.
Bree: Well, in that case, why don't you bring me another bottle of the Pinot Grigio? (pauses as waiter hits a particularly sour note) And please hurry...
Bree: Well, I didn't wanna come here because I was afraid it would drudge up memories of my husband. This was our place. Rex passed away recently. He was, um, murdered by our pharmacist.
Tony: Wow. I hope you changed pharmacists.
Bree: I didn't have to. He committed suicide.
Betty:Caleb told me a nice red-haired lady came over to see him.
Bree: Come on in, Betty.
(Betty enters Bree's house)
Bree: Let me pour you a drink.
Betty: This is not a social call, Bree. Did you or did you not break into my house.
Bree: Caleb and I had a lovely chat.
Betty: If you ever come near him again, there will be hell to pay.
Bree: Aren't you going to ask what we talked about? The name Melanie Foster came up. I'm going to pour you a drink now, Betty, because you and I are going to have a long talk and I think you're going to need some help getting through it.
Bree: When I was young, my stepmother told me that I was very lucky. I possessed beauty, wit, cunning and insight. These were weapons all women needed to survive in the world.
Danielle: So?
Bree: So take good care of your looks, Danielle. You don't have any other weapons at your disposal.
Detective Barton: Bree. I have to say, I was very pleased to get your call. I mean. I'm surprisd you want to have anything to do with me, given our recent history.
Bree:Oh you mean, you having suspected me of murdering my husband? Detective, that is all water under the bridge now.
(Susan has just finished questioning about the dead guy in the trunk)
Bree: How did it go?
Susan: Well, I told them everything I know, which wasn't much.
Gabrielle: So, we're thinking this is Paul?
Lynette: Well, he's our friendly neighborhood murderer!
My son is trying to blackmail me, and I would like you to stop the little S.O.B.
Bree: (after seeing her son kiss his boyfriend outside) Get over here. Now!
Andrew: Somebody's angry. Did one of your souffls fall?
Bree: I saw what you did with your friend.
Andrew: Oh! And you didn't turn into a pillar of salt? Good for you.
Bree: This is not a joke, Andrew. What if the neighbors had seen you?
Andrew: Oh, I'd hope they'd think that I landed a hottie.
Edie: What do you guys think about the Applewhites?
Susan: I like 'em, very nice, very...
Bree: Interesting.
Susan: Right! Interesting!
Edie: Hmm, they weird me out too.
Bree: Okay, first of all I want you to march back upstairs and tell your friend he is no longer welcome in this house!
Andrew: But we haven't even had breakfast yet.
