Brian [about robot Miley Cyrus]: You think she does other things like a real girl, if you reprogram her?
Stewie: Brian's that sick. She's 16
Brian: I'm 8
Stewie: You're right, I'll see what I can do

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• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Well excuse me for being retarded. My whole world is turned upside-down. Black is east, up is white.
Brian: Peter, I hate to say 'I told you so' about not being a genius, but uh... YEAH! IN YOUR F**KING FACE, F**KWAD! I'm... I'm sorry

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Peter: I'll handle it Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah

• Permalink: I'll handle it Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

O'Brian: I have twenty on the fat one.
Brian and O'Brian: Which one's the fat one!? (they both laugh).

• Permalink: I have twenty on the fat one. Which one's the fat one!? .
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

[After seeing the social worker give Mrs. Stevens back her baby]
Chris: So this is where babies come from?
Brian: Yes Chris, this is exactly where babies come from.
Chris [to Lois]: You told me I came out of your vagina

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Brian:( singing) Take to the highway, won't you lend me your name...
Stewie: Who sings that song?
Brian: James Taylor.
Stewie: Yeah, let's keep it that way.

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• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lois: He just got up and left? Where would he go?
Peter: I don't know. I just asked him to buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks.
Brian: I don't care if he ever comes back... I wasn't being cute, I really hope he's dead

• Permalink: He just got up and left? Where would he go? I don't know. I ju...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stewie: How 'bout we let bygones be bygones,hmm?
Brian: You shot me in both my knees, then lit me on fire, Piss off.

• Permalink: How 'bout we let bygones be bygones,hmm? You shot me in both m...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stewie: What are the stakes of this wager?
Brian: Why don't you just shut up for about a week?
Stewie: Excellent and if I win?
Brian: I wasn't betting, why don't you just shut up for about a week?
Stewie: You're on!

• Permalink: What are the stakes of this wager? Why don't you just shut up ...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brian: Umm...where are the toilets?
New Yorker Editor: Oh, no one at The New Yorker has an anus.

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• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brian: So, is it just pool water that turns you into a snivelling girl, or all water?
Stewie: Mom! Brian just asked me if it's just pool water that turns me into a sniveling girl, or all water!

• Permalink: So, is it just pool water that turns you into a snivelling girl,...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Whose leg do I have to hump to get a pint of Guinness around here?

O'Brian

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• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0