Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

It's better to carry a tune than a grudge.

You don't know terror until you have to stare down the eyes of a Missouri state trooper and talk your way out of a PUI.

I've been fired, everyone has.

Gloria: Is that a leash?
Cam: It's a child safety tether.

Cam: Do you have a better idea, you're the one who lost it!
Mitchell: No, you tossed it. You tossed it, lost it.

As an actual tough guy you could see how that would rub my dad the wrong way.

Mitchell: I know how important winning is to Claire.
Cam: And I love to festoon things.

Mitchell: Oh my God, there's Sandy.
Cam: Sandra Bullock?
Mitchell: Yeah we're such good friends, I just call her Sandy.

We were great together, we spoke each other's language, we finished each other's balloon animals.

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