Favorite Chandler Bing Quotes
Ross: I'm gonna go visit Marcel at the zoo and surprise him.
Chandler: You know what? I think he will be surprised until he realizes he's a monkey and, you know, not capable of that emotion.
Monica: (About Phoebe's inappropriate song) Excellent!
Chandler: Very informative!
Rachel: Not at all inappropriate!
Chandler: Pheebs, can I have the milk after you?
Phoebe: I'm almost done with it, keep your panties on.
Phoebe: I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus.
Joey: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: What?
Chandler: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
Monica: This was your idea?
Phoebe: What were you thinking?
Chandler: (Squirming) All right, let's get some perspective here, okay? These things, they happen for a reason.
Monica: Yeah. You!
Chandler: All right, Pheebs, back me up here, okay? You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
Phoebe: Yeah. By the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.
Monica: Paul, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Paul.
Joey: Hey, Paul, the wine guy.
Ross: Hey, Paul.
Phoebe: Hey, Paul.
Rachel: Hi, Paul.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
Chandler: Okay, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
Phoebe: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?
Rachel: I kind of have plans.
Monica: You have other friends?
Rachel: Yeah, I, uh, I have a date.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: You have a date?
Rachel: Yes! I have a date.
Joey: With a man?
Rachel: No, with a crouton. What is so strange about me having a date?
Chandler: With a crouton?
Joey: You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life?
Chandler: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first, but once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
Ross: I don't want to be single. Okay? I just want to be married again.
(Rachel enters the coffee shop wearing in a wedding dress)
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars.
Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?
Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said "We should do this again!"
All: Oh. Ouch.
Rachel: What? He said "We should do it again," that's good, right?
Monica: Uh, no. Loosely translated "We should do this again" means "You will never see me naked."
Rachel: Since when?
Joey: Since always. It's like dating language. Ya know, like, "It's not you" means "It is you."
Chandler: Or "You're such a nice guy" means "I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you."
Phoebe: Or, or, ya know, um, "I think we should see other people" means "Ha, ha, I already am."
Chandler: (Thinking to himself) Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.
Chandler: (About Ross) He's in China!
Joey: The country.
Monica: No, no, wait. (Checking Ross's itinerary) His flight doesn't leave for another forty five more minutes.
Chandler: What about the time difference?
Monica: From here to the airport?
