Favorite Chandler Bing Quotes
Ross: I'm gonna go visit Marcel at the zoo and surprise him.
Chandler: You know what? I think he will be surprised until he realizes he's a monkey and, you know, not capable of that emotion.
Joey: I don't wanna leave you high and dry.
Chandler: Hey, I've never been lower or wetter.
Phoebe: I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus.
Joey: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: What?
Chandler: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
Monica: This was your idea?
Phoebe: What were you thinking?
Chandler: (Squirming) All right, let's get some perspective here, okay? These things, they happen for a reason.
Monica: Yeah. You!
Chandler: All right, Pheebs, back me up here, okay? You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
Phoebe: Yeah. By the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.
Joey: I can't sleep with my underwear on.
Chandler: Well you're gonna!
Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass!
Chandler: Okay, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
Phoebe: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?
Rachel: I kind of have plans.
Monica: You have other friends?
Rachel: Yeah, I, uh, I have a date.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: You have a date?
Rachel: Yes! I have a date.
Joey: With a man?
Rachel: No, with a crouton. What is so strange about me having a date?
Chandler: With a crouton?
Joey: Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
Chandler: I think it's great. You know, it's sweet. It's romantic.
Joey: Really?
Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy is a freak.
(About Rachel cutting up her credit cards) Ya know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream.
Chandler: And now I have to get a snake.
Phoebe: Ah huh...why is that?
Chandler: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing. Y'know, a hook; like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be crazy man with a snake! Y'know, Crazy Snake Man! And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids won't walk past my place they will run! "Run away from Crazy Snake Man!!" they'll shout!
Monica: Paul, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Paul.
Joey: Hey, Paul, the wine guy.
Ross: Hey, Paul.
Phoebe: Hey, Paul.
Rachel: Hi, Paul.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
Ross: So I told Carl nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody's allowed to climb on the dinosaur. Of course, this went right in...
Rachel: (Thinking) I love how he cares so much about stuff. If I squint I can pretend he's Alan Alda.
Monica: (Thinking) Oh good, another dinosaur story. When are those going to become extinct?
Chandler: (Thinking) If I was a superhero that could fly and be invisible, that would be the best.
Gunther: (Thinking about Ross) What does Rachel see in this guy? I love Rachel, I wish she was my wife.
Joey: (Singing "The Baby Elephant Walk" in his head) Da dadada da da da da da duh. Da dadada da da da da da duh.
Phoebe: (Thinking) Who's singing?
