Chandler Bing Quotes
Joey: Oh, Jam? I love jam! Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Chandler: Because the kids need new shoes.
(Walking out of the bathroom holding an issue of Cosmo) So I took the quiz, and it turns out I do put career before men.
Chandler: Ok, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I in turn have noticed that you are not. So, in the words of A.A. Milne: "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Donald Duck never wears pants. But when he gets out of the shower he ties a towel around his waist. I mean, what is up with that?
Joey: All right, they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider.
Chandler: Taste it.
Joey: (Joey takes a drink) Yeah, it's fat. I drank fat!
Chandler: Yeah I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Chandler: The cushions are the essence of the chair!
Joey: That's right! I'm taking the essence.
(Joey won't get off Chandlers chair)
Joey: All right! You can have the chair.
Chandler: Really!
Joey: Oh my, would you look at that! (Holds up crossed fingers)
Phoebe: Rachel didn't have anything I liked but she had this Christmas ribbon and I thought, "Alright, I'll be political."
Chandler: What are you supporting?
Phoebe: Duh, Christmas.
Joey: You hide my underwear, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of stealing somebody's underpants!
Joey: Look at me, I'm Chandler. Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
Chandler: (Uncomfortably, about sitting on Joey) I am so comfortable.
Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable ...
Chandler: All right. (Jumps up)
This may be the real thing, capital R, capital T! (Joey stares blankly) Don't worry, those are the right letters!
(Joey is watching "Wheel of Fortune", the letters read _OUNT RUSH _ORE)
Joey: This guy is so stupid. It's Count Rushmore.
Chandler: You know you should really go on this show.
(Later in this scene)
Chandler: Oh, and by the way, there is no Count Rushmore.
Joey: Yeah? Then who's the guy who painted the faces on the mountain?
