Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

10 days on the road with those kids? Winnebag-no.

Maybe I bring out the worst in them when there's no fun loving Phil around to neutralize my toxins.

The way he looked at me, it was like I wore a tube top in church.

Claire: You have dumb ideas.
Phil: Name one...that went on for awhile.

Claire: Alex what have I told you about staying out past your curfew?
Alex: I need to do it more often.

Yesterday I accidentally said eleventy five.

All of that explaining is going out and the alcohol is not going in.

I wanted to tell Haley the dangers of starting a family too early but what could I say that couldn't have been said better by a screaming baby?

Haley: Dad tried to fix all our problems and instead ruined all our lives.
Alex: Nightmare.
Claire: You girls are so dramatic. Do I need to call you a wambulance?

Displaying quotes 19 - 27 of 155 in total