Claire: It's a little tight.
Phil: Well the salesman said it was the style and he looked like a Mumford and Son so I think he would know.

Phil: Remember before we had kids and could just lie in bed all Saturday?
Claire: That's how we got them.
Phil: Why did I have to be so sexy?

Hunnie when I met you, you were a wedding DJ. By the way Spinderfella, looks like you still need to hit the grocery store.

Phil: Little heads up, there's no way I'm not crying at this wedding.
Claire: Phil you cried on the way here.

Claire: Do you remember when summer meant fireflies, cut off shorts, and ice cream trucks?
Phil: Well we got one out of three!

10 days on the road with those kids? Winnebag-no.

Maybe I bring out the worst in them when there's no fun loving Phil around to neutralize my toxins.

The way he looked at me, it was like I wore a tube top in church.

Claire: You have dumb ideas.
Phil: Name one...that went on for awhile.

Claire: Alex what have I told you about staying out past your curfew?
Alex: I need to do it more often.

Yesterday I accidentally said eleventy five.

All of that explaining is going out and the alcohol is not going in.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


Manny: Does this feel like a short visit to you, or a long one?
Jay: The pregnant one brought a stroller.