Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
Family guy
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Quagmire: Here's to the Drunken Clam, boys! Where they don't ask for proof of age and neither do I!
Cleveland: Quagmire. You forgot to say "oh".
Quagmire: You sure? I think I did... Well, just to be safe. Oh!

Cleveland: I can't believe how terrible the fishing was.
Peter: Yeah, all we caught was a tire, a boot, a tin can, and this book of clichés

Cleveland: If you're this desperate about Chris's weight, why don't you just suck the fat out?
Peter: Look, if you can find a hole on the boy that you want to put your lips on, be my guest

There's quite a crowd outside. I haven't seen pandemonium like this since Ridiculous Day down at the deli, where prices were so low, they were ridiculous

Pretty high and mighty for a man who left our nation's flag out in the rain last 4th of July. That's against the law, Officer

Displaying quotes 49 - 53 of 53 in total

Family Guy Quotes

North Dakota, we're not even the best Dakota!

Peter

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley