South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralPopular Clyde Quotes
Mr. Mackey: Wh-wh-what you need to do, uh, Damien is...is to be overly nice. See, n-no matter how mean the other kids are to you, just don't retaliate. Err, be passive, mmm'kay? That's what I taught the little British boy, Pip, an-and just look at how much the other children like him now!
(scene changes to the playground, a group of kids are gathered around Pip)
Clyde: I bet I could spit the most on him! (spits on his left shoulder
Bebe: Oh, yeah? I bet I could spit in his hair! (spits in his right eye)
Pip: Oh! Nice try! A little higher and you've got it!
Clyde: Hey what's going on?
Kyle: Tweek and Craig are gonna fight!
Clyde: Really? CoolIt's funny because Tweek and Craig both went home about 15 minutes ago.
Kyle: What?
Token: Yea, they left.
Stan: Get on the sled, fatass.
Clyde: For the last time I'm not fat GODDAMN IT!
(Clyde's voice changes and his eyes close tightly into an "X" like when Cartman's mad - realizing that he has just become shockingly like Cartman Clyde slams his hand over his mouth and his eyes bug out in shock/horror)
Clyde: I'm not fat you guys, I'm just kinda big boned.
Kyle: That's what they all say!
(After Cartman has been released from jail)
Stan: Hey, Cartman's back!
(Clyde runs up and hugs Cartman then begins to weep)
Clyde: Oh thank you, thank you so much!
Cartman: Uh guys, what the hell's wrong with Clyde?
Kyle: (about Butters) Dude, that poor kid.
Clyde: Yeah, we got to remember to kick his ass tomorrow.
"You know why girls wear make-up and perfume? Cause they're ugly and they stink."
I was enthralled by the dialogue.
Stan: Dude, did a bully take your lunch money again week?
Butters: Yeah.
Stan: That's the third day in a row, you gotta tell a teacher.
Butters: Nah, I'm not a tattle-tale.
Stan: Then write the principal an anonymous letter.
Butters: Nah, I'm not an Anonymous Andy.
Clyde: So just get a bigger bully to beat the bully up.
Butters: Nah, I don't want kids calling me kids calling me a cliche conflict resolution Kevin.
Stan: I don't understand that stuff at all, I need Morgan Freeman to explain it to me.
Jimmy: Yeah, I love when Morgan Freeman explains stuff.
Clyde: Whenever I'm confused about what's going on in a movie, I'm always so relieved when Morgan Freeman shows up and explains the plot to me.
