Cosmo Kramer Quotes
Season 4, Episode 24: "The Pilot: Part 2"
George: Listen, I know we've had our problems in the past, but we've got a show to do tonight. Pull together as a team. Life's too short. I say let's let bygones be bygones. If you took the raisins, if you didn't take the raisins. They weren't even my raisins. I was just curious because it seems like a strange thing to do, to walk into a room, audition, and walk out with a box of raisins. Anyway, whatever. If you ever want to tell me about it, the door to my office is always open. In the event that I get an office. You'll come in, we'll talk about the raisins, have a nice laugh.
TV Kramer: How'd you like it if I just pulled your heart out of your chest right now and shoved it down your throat?
• Rating: Unrated
Season 4, Episode 22: "The Handicap Spot"
Kramer: She's got everything I've ever wanted in another human being ... except for the walking.
• Rating: Unrated
Kramer: Make sure we dont forget where the car is parked.
• Rating: Unrated
Kramer: I love the name 'isosceles'. If I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.
• Rating: Unrated
Jerry: We'll have to take your car, it's got the most room.
Kramer: No, no. My car's not running.
(George comes out from the bathroom)
Jerry: What about your father's car?
George: No, no, no. Out of the question. I was over there today. He's got the good spot in front of the good building in the good neighborhood. I know he's not gonna wanna move.
Jerry: Are you serious?
George: You don't know what that spot means to him. Once he gets it, he doesn't go out for weeks.
• Rating: Unrated
George: I hate this mall, there are never any spaces here...
Kramer: Why don't you park in front of the hydrent?
George: What if there's a fire?
Kramer: Now what are the chances of that?
• Rating: Unrated
Kramer: Am I a hipster-doofus?
• Rating: Unrated
Season 4, Episode 21: "The Smelly Car"
Kramer: What happened?
Jerry: What happened? My car "stinks" is what happened. And it's destroying the lives of everyone in its path.
• Rating: Unrated
Kramer: You "stink." Why don't you go take a shower?
Jerry: I showered! Oh, wait a second. Since I showered, I've been in the car.
Elaine: So?
Jerry: Don't you see what's happening here? It's attached itself to me! It's alive!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 4, Episode 20: "The Junior Mint"
Kramer: Come on Jerry hurry I don't want to miss it.
Jerry: Let me finish my coffee. Then we'll go watch 'em slice this fat bastard up.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 161
