Cosmo Kramer Quotes
George: Listen, I know we've had our problems in the past, but we've got a show to do tonight. Pull together as a team. Life's too short. I say let's let bygones be bygones. If you took the raisins, if you didn't take the raisins. They weren't even my raisins. I was just curious because it seems like a strange thing to do, to walk into a room, audition, and walk out with a box of raisins. Anyway, whatever. If you ever want to tell me about it, the door to my office is always open. In the event that I get an office. You'll come in, we'll talk about the raisins, have a nice laugh.
TV Kramer: How'd you like it if I just pulled your heart out of your chest right now and shoved it down your throat?
- Permalink: Listen, I know we've had our problems in the past, but we've got...
Jerry: We'll have to take your car, it's got the most room.
Kramer: No, no. My car's not running.
(George comes out from the bathroom)
Jerry: What about your father's car?
George: No, no, no. Out of the question. I was over there today. He's got the good spot in front of the good building in the good neighborhood. I know he's not gonna wanna move.
Jerry: Are you serious?
George: You don't know what that spot means to him. Once he gets it, he doesn't go out for weeks.
- Permalink: We'll have to take your car, it's got the most room. No, no. M...
I love the name 'isosceles'. If I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.
- Permalink: I love the name 'isosceles'. If I had a kid, I would name him Is...
Make sure we dont forget where the car is parked.
- Permalink: Make sure we dont forget where the car is parked.
Am I a hipster-doofus?
- Permalink: Am I a hipster-doofus?
George: I hate this mall, there are never any spaces here...
Kramer: Why don't you park in front of the hydrent?
George: What if there's a fire?
Kramer: Now what are the chances of that?
- Permalink: I hate this mall, there are never any spaces here... Why don't...
She's got everything I've ever wanted in another human being ... except for the walking.
- Permalink: She's got everything I've ever wanted in another human being ......
Kramer: What happened?
Jerry: What happened? My car "stinks" is what happened. And it's destroying the lives of everyone in its path.
- Permalink: What happened? What happened? My car stinks is what happened. ...
Kramer: You "stink." Why don't you go take a shower?
Jerry: I showered! Oh, wait a second. Since I showered, I've been in the car.
Jerry: Don't you see what's happening here? It's attached itself to me! It's alive!
- Permalink: You stink. Why don't you go take a shower? I showered! Oh, wai...
Kramer: Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint -it's delicious!
Jerry: That's true.
Kramer: It's very refreshing!
- Permalink: Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's pepper...
We'll open 'em up and saw through the bone...(imitates saw noise) Gneeerrrr! We'll see what's INSIDE bone!
- Permalink: We'll open 'em up and saw through the bone... Gneeerrrr! We'll s...
Kramer: Come on Jerry hurry I don't want to miss it.
Jerry: Let me finish my coffee. Then we'll go watch 'em slice this fat bastard up.
- Permalink: Come on Jerry hurry I don't want to miss it. Let me finish my ...
Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Elaine: What did I say?
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.
- Permalink: He's like a Svenjolly. Svengali. What did I say? Svenjolly...
I can't get a massage from a man.George
- Permalink: I can't get a massage from a man.