Cosmo Kramer Quotes
Jerry: What? So what? It's a nipple. A little brown circular protuberance. What's the big deal? See everybody's got them. See I got them. (lifts up shirt)
Kramer: I got them too. (lifts up shirt also)
Jerry: See? Everybody's got them.
Elaine: So, what's that?
Kramer: (not noticing) That's a nipple.
Elaine: Right!!
Kramer: (notices it) Ooo!
Elaine: Aw, great!? Didn't you see that?
Kramer: Aw, no, no I didn't notice it. No.
Kramer: THE BEACH!!! (enters the apartment) You smell like the beach. What's the name of that perfume you're wearing?
Tia: It's Ocean by CALVIN KLEIN.
Kramer: CALVIN KLEIN? No, no. That's my idea. They, they stole my idea. Y'see I had the idea of a cologne that makes you smell like you just came from the beach.
Jerry: I know look at this (shows an ad from CK)
Kramer: (shocked) Whooo! That's you! What is going on here? The gyp, he laughs at me then he steals my idea. I could have been a millionaire. I could have been a fragrance millionaire, Jerry. They're not going to get away with this. (leaves)
I just wanted to borrow your "Dust Buster."
Kramer: What's the matter with you? I just wanted to see how tall she was.
Jerry: Oh, you're tall. She's tall I'm tall. What's the difference who's tall? We're all tall.
Listen to the bell, Grossbard...it tolls for thee.
(stuck in traffic) How does it look on your side? (George just stares at him angrily) We'll get there.
George: They're not here! You cost me fifty bucks!
Kramer: Look at you! You run like a girl! Run like a man! Lift your knees!
Kramer: Listen, I didn't do anything wrong. That guy owes me 240 bucks!
Security Guard: Now, you're in big trouble.
(Kramer breaks free from his arms and runs off)
George: You bought non-refundable tickets, you idiot!
Kramer: She talked me in to it. She said it was the best deal.
Kramer: So, you're still master of your domain.
Jerry: Yes. Yes I am. Master of my domain.
Jerry: (singing along with the TV) The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus
(Kramer joins in with Jerry, only, he has a different version)
Kramer: The woman across the street has nothing on, nothing on, nothing on