Damon: First dad duty: gound your daugther, keep her here.

Damon: You need to stop doing that.
Elena: Doing what?
Damon: Assuming that I'll play the good guy, because it's you who's asking.

Elena: You totally blew her off.
Damon: I'm staying clear of all women at the moment.
Elena: You don't have to be rude.
Damon: Trust me, it's in the best interest of women everywhere.

You better start talking or I will kill you in your sleep.

Elena: Be the better man.
Damon: Ok then.

Elena: We just need answers, please don't do anything stupid.
Damon: Yeah, but stupid so much more fun.

Elena: Damon!
Damon: I'm not gonna hurt him, Elena. I'm the good guy now, remember?
Elena: What does that mean?
Damon: I'm gonna have a civil conversation with your father.

Elena: What are we gonna do?
Damon: Kill him.
Elena: Damon...
Damon: I'm joking. Ok, I'm a little serious.

Elena: He just blew in, announced to Jenna that he's my dad and then took off.
Damon: That's public knowledge now?
Elena: Apparently.

Great work, Stefan. Top notch. As if I didn't have enough problems.

Stefan: I'm sorry about Rose.
Damon: Whatever, I knew the woman for...five minutes.
Stefan: Well, you cared about her after five minutes though. I wonder what that means?
Damon: It means I care, Stefan. It means I'm changing and evolving into a man capable of greatness.

Still waiting for the part where John Gilbert's the answer.

Vampire Diaries Quotes

You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger... I want you to get everything you're looking for. But for right now, I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Elena.

Damon

Damon: You know what they are? Children. Like lighting a candle's going to make everything OK, or even saying a prayer. Or pretending Elena's not going to end up just like the rest of us murdering vampires. Stupid, delusional, exasperating little children. And I know what you're going to say: 'It makes them feel better, Damon.' So what? For how long? A minute, a day? What difference does it make? Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be. And a rock with a birthday carved into it that I'm pretty sure is wrong. So thanks, friend. Thanks for leaving me here to babysit. Because I should be long gone by now. I didn't get the girl, remember? I'm just stuck here fighting my brother and taking care of the kids. You owe me big.
Alaric: I miss you too, buddy.