You cannot sort out a man who kills and eats other human beings.

What! I’m not paying more taxes Dee! Don’t speak of it again!

You haven’t thought of the smell, you BITCH!

What is that? ‘A Street Car Named Desire?’

Dee I swear you would be more use to be if I skinned you and turned you into a lampshade.

If you say another word, I swear to god I will slice you into a million little pieces, and put those pieces in a box, a glass box, that I will display on my mantle.

LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU’RE TALKING TO ME!

Dennis: It was Mac's stupid plan.
Mac: Then why did you scratch me?
Dennis: Because you annoyed.

Hey, alright alright alright.


Mac: Did you do that?
Dennis: You know what? I think I did.
Mac: Yeah I think I saw you!

Let’s not get crazy here, you’re always gonna be the butt of the jokes.

Dennis: The one time we let you on the team instead of Charlie and all we get is back sass?! Do you even want to be on the team?Dee: Yeah, yeah, I wanna be part of the team sorry!

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Charlie: I'll totally pull a Good Will Hunting on those kids and that'll put them in their place.
Mac: How you gonna do that?
Charlie: Well, you've seen the movie right?
Mac: Yeah.
Charlie: So all I gotta do is, I'll ask them some big shot, like math or science, history-type college question aand that will totally stump them by knowing a lot more about the answer than they do.
Mac: In that movie, Matt Damon played a genius janitor, you're just a janitor.
Charlie: Right, you stumped me with that one.

Mac: He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie: I don't have any on me, but I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie: Well that's mayonnaise. It's a decoy.
Frank: And the mayo?
Charlie: That's shampoo.
Frank: You're telling I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie: If you've been using the mayonnaise, then yeah, probably.