Popular Dr. Zoidberg Quotes
Give it to me straight, Professor. Is it fin rot? It's fin rot, isn't it? Tell me it's not fin rot!
Zoidberg: Amy, take off these rubber bands and I'll show you how normal I am!
Amy: Fool me seven times, shame on you. Fool me eight or more times, shame on me.
Zoidberg: Give me that. More weight!
Fry: Hey, Dr. Zoidberg, what's that jazz on your head?
Zoidberg: Enough with the questions. More weight! More! More!
Leela: Maybe you could do more reps with less weight.
Amy: Hey, who's up for a nice, hot steam?
Zoidberg: We crustaceans don't like steam.
The gymnasium? Excellent, excellent. For some reason I'm frisky as a squid on Tuesday.
Zoidberg: Well? How do I look?
Bender: Like whale barf.
Zoidberg: Then the illusion is complete!
Fry: (Whispering to Zoidberg from behind a bush) Tell her she looks thin!
Zoidberg: (shouting) You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from internal parasites?
Edna: Why, yes. Thanks for noticing.
Fry: OK, you're on a date. What's the first thing you do?
Zoidberg: Ask her to mate with me.
Fry: No. Tell her she's special.
Zoidberg: But she's not. She's merely the female with the largest clutch of eggs.
Fry: Well, tell her that. And then?
Zoidberg: Then mating.
Fry: No. Make up some feelings and tell her you have them. (Zoidberg raises his hand) Yes?
Zoidberg: Is "desire to mate" a feeling?
Fry: You're not even trying!
I am normal...ing
Leela: It's amazing that your people can fall in love so fast.
Zoidberg: Love? That word is unknown here. I'm simply looking for a female swollen with eggs to accept my genetic material.
Fry: You and me both, brother.
Zoidberg: I'm confused, Fry. I'm feeling a strange new emotion. Is it love when you care about a female for reasons beyond mating?
Fry: Nope. Must be some weird alien emotion.
Fry: Uh, is there a human doctor around?
Zoidberg: Young lady, I'm an expert on humans.
