Popular Dr. Zoidberg Quotes
Fry: Now ask her how her day was.
Zoidberg: Why would I wanna know?
Fry: You wouldn't. Ask anyway.
Zoidberg: How was your day?
Edna: Well first I got up and had a piece of toast. Then I brushed my teeth. Then I went to the store to buy some fish. Then...
Zoidberg: Fry, look what you did, she won't shut up.
Fry: That's normal. Just nod your head and say "Uh-huh".
Edna: Dr. Zoidberg, your mating display failed. Why are you trying to talk to me?
Zoidberg: I have no idea.
Fry: You just wanna talk, it has nothing to do with mating.
Zoidberg: I just wanna talk, it has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn't make sense.
Edna: Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense.
Zoidberg: It's all so complicated with the flowers and the romance and the lies upon lies.
Fry: OK, OK, don't worry. The love meister will take you under his wing.
Zoidberg: What? Now there's a bird involved?
Hmm, this "love" intrigues me. Teach me to fake it.
Zoidberg: No one will ever want to mate with me, not with a puny claw like this. Did you see those other guys? They looked like giant claws with bodies attached.
Leela: At least you didn't smell as bad as them.
Zoidberg: You're right, my stink gland is weak. Smell!
Edna: Oh, gee, yeah, I'm just going through a lot of things right now and... Look, Zoidberg, I carry more eggs than any other female and I owe it to our race to pick a mate who's stuffed with male jelly. Maybe a rock star.
Zoidberg: Or maybe a doctor?
Edna: I'm sorry, Zoidberg. You're just an inferior male specimen. Nice seeing you again.
Edna: Zoidberg? Well I didn't know you were back in town. I heard you went off and became a rich doctor.
Zoidberg: I've performed a few mercy killings.
Edna? Edna, it's me, Zoidberg. Remember, from high school? You used to laugh at me because my face was covered with barnacles!
Zoidberg: Craw!
Decapodian Woman #1: Keep your jelly away from my eggs!
Zoidberg: Craw?
Decapodian Woman #2: So not interested.
Zoidberg: Craw!
Decapodian Woman #3: Humph. I've heard that line before!
Fry: I didn't come here to see any activity involving two guys. Where do you people do your erotic display?
Zoidberg: Same place as your species: The beach.
Bender: Look! Outdoor theatre! Let's get tickets. Oh, let's do!
Zoidberg: No, it's the ceremony of Claw-Plach, where my species fight to the death over matters of honour. Also whether abbreviations count in Scrabble. They don't!
Fry: Uh, is there a human doctor around?
Zoidberg: Young lady, I'm an expert on humans.
