If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!

I wonder if king size sheets are called presidential sized in England. I really should have a tweeter account.

'R' is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it murder and not mukduk.

Dwight: Knock, knock.
Michael: Who's there?
Dwight: KGB.
Michael: KGB - [Dwight slaps Michael]
Dwight: [in Russian accent] We will ask the questions!

Dwight: Don't you want to earn Schrute bucks?
Stanley: No. In fact, I'll give you a billion Stanley nickels if you never talk to me again.
Dwight: What's the ratio of Stanley nickels to Schrute bucks?
Stanley: The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.

Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim, is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy. But-

Will Ryan become a slacker, loser, wise ass like Jim or will he join the Dwight Army of Champions?

Dwight

Dwight: We have a colleague with the same name. You're not a liar too are you.
Other Pam: I've been known to bend the truth.
Dwight: Damn it Pam! Get out!

The only way to stop a bully is to stand up to him. Trust me - I've bullied a lot of people.

Dwight: The purse girl hits everything on my checklist: creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me, for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.

Charles: I don't know what to do to inspire these people. Okay, maybe it's my fault-
Dwight: It's not your fault. Some people just don't want to be inspired.
Charles: I wrote a memo to all departments asking them to find ways to save money but, uh-
Angela: Charles, I got your memo. Thank you. I want you to know I'm putting my foot down when it comes to expense reports. Waste not, want not.
Charles: Uh, well said, Angela.
Dwight: Been there, done that.

Dwight: I see dead people.
Michael: Okay! Spoiler alert!
Dwight: He was dead the whole time.
Michael: Just stop it!

The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy