The Office

Thursdays 9:00 PM on NBC

Follow @OfficeTVF

Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 43)

Season 3, Episode 16: "Business School"

Dwight: Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, "Would an idiot do that?" And if they would, I do not do that thing.
• Rating: Unrated

Season 3, Episode 15: "Phyllis' Wedding"

Dwight: Best of luck, Phyllis. Also I'm going to need to see a copy of the guest manifest as well as photographs of the caterers.
Phyllis: I don't have that, Dwight.
Dwight: Dammit, Phyllis!
• Rating: Unrated

Jim: Damn, lost another file. Going to have to reboot. Again. Hey, Dwight, do you want an Altoid?
Dwight: What do you think?
• Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I saw "Wedding Crashers" accidentally. I bought a ticket for "Grizzly Man" and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. Cause that's the thing about bear attacks... they come when you least expect it.
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Season 3, Episode 14: "Ben Franklin"

Dwight: Ruddy cheeks, thick calves, no tats, no moles, no tats. No, TATS. Of course I want-
Jim: Stop. That's disgusting.
Dwight: Leave me alone and get the male stripper.
Jim: Fine.
Dwight: I knew you would, Nancy.
Jim: Sally.
Dwight: No preference, what do you think redhead or brunette?
Jim: Blonde.
Dwight: Nice. Do you have any blonde women?
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Michael: Okay. We are off. Ryan and I are going to go get some supplies and I need you to handle hiring the strippers.
Jim: Absolutely not.
Dwight: I'm on it.
Michael: Well get on it. And make it happen.
• Rating: Unrated

Michael: And remember no matter what, I will always love you.
Dwight: What if he's a murderer?
Michael: He's not going to be a murderer.
Dwight: Maybe that's how you die.
Michael: You know what, Dwight, do you want to do this, or no?
Dwight: I want to do this.
Michael: Okay. From the top. Ready? Three-
Dwight: Action.
• Rating: Unrated

Michael: Hello son. If you're watching this, that means I'm already dead. Life is a road-
Dwight: How do you know it's going to be a boy?
Michael: How, would you stop interrupting please?
• Rating: Unrated

Michael: Guys! Beef: it's what's for dinner! Who wants some man meat?
Dwight: I do! I want some man meat!
Jim: Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.
Michael: Well then, my man meat he shall have.
• Rating: Unrated