(to Jerry) Just when I think you're the shallowest man I've ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool.

Elaine: Come on. Don't you think they seem a bit too perfect?Jerry: Yes they do!

Old Lady: What's bothering you? Is it my goiter?
Elaine: Goiter? What goiter?
Old Lady: This football shaped growth jutting out of my neck!
Elaine: Oh, noit's distinctive; as a matter of fact I wish I had one!

Elaine: You'd think they'd mention that before they send you over there: "Oh, by the way, this woman almost has a second head." But no, no, I didn't get any goiter information.

Why are my shoes a topic of conversation?

Elaine: Snapple?
Babu's Brother: No, too fruity.

Elaine: Who'd you punch?
Kramer: Mickey Mantle.

(about George) He thinks that if a woman sees a guy put on a better show, she'll walk out on his show and go see the other show.

The turbo quadramatic transmission offers you the power and prestige to propel you well into the twenty-first century.

Jerry: Hey, I've been back four days, I want my mail.
Elaine: It's mostly bills, magazines, and junk mail anyway.
Jerry: Elaine, that's what mail is. Without bills, magazines, and junk mail, there is no mail.

No, I don't want to go to a mini-plex multi-theater! It's not a theater, it's like a room where they bring in POW's to show them propaganda films.

George, you're sappin' my strength.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 212 in total

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Seinfeld Quotes

Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Jerry: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.

Do you ever yearn?

Kramer
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