Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSPopular Ellie Torres Quotes
Nothing could ever make me stop loving you. Except you not drinking. Twelve steps, schmelsteps. Alcohol makes people fun.
Jules: Grayson is totally pursey whipped. That is really gonna catch on. pursey magnet, pursey hound.
Laurie: Pursey cat.
Ellie: That's not how it works.
Sara: Come to dinner tonight. I can't cook, but I'll bring plenty of free wine.
Ellie: Marry me.
Ellie: Andy, punishment for cheating?
Andy: Removing my own genitalia with garden shears while you watch.
Ellie: Wow so it's either college twenty minutes away in Sarasota or twenty hours away in California. Which one do you want him to go to?
Jules: Doesn't really matter what I want. It's his choice.
Travis: The weather is so good in California.
Jules: Yeah, and it also has earthquakes and race riots. So you know, everybody just calm down.
Ellie: And there it is.
Jules: Sleepy show is canceled tonight.
Ellie: Damn it.
Ellie: (to Jules about the coffee) It's 7:45am why are you not already serving us?
Laurie: I feel like people respect my ideas more when they think they came out of magazines.
Ellie: No.
Andy: Stop - it's just a tiny thing.
Ellie: That's what he said!
Andy: You ruined it. You ruined my gift!
This one needs it - she holds on like an otter trying to break open a clam.
Jules: All together now -
Everyone: If it's on the internet, it must be true!
Jules: Exactly now, everyone sip please.
Travis: Afternoon booze bags. What are we celebrating now?
Jules: Science.
Ellie: It's your turn, best war story from your twenties.
Jules: Once when I was 22, I had a baby and I stayed home by myself raising him for the rest of my twenties. The end
Andy: Boo!
