Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSEllie Torres Quotes
Laurie: Man hands? You're stealing jokes from Seinfeld now?
Jules: Was that that Jewish guy you dated in High School?
Ellie: No, he had a huge TV show. Must see TV?
Jules: Never heard of it. No one's gonna tell me what's must see.
Ellie: Should I remove your nuts?
Laurie: Oh, it's not you, she's just a horrible person.
I'm not high anymore.
Dershwasher
Laurie: This will cheer you up! I have really good news?
Ellie: Are you sterile?!
Hey pale face, how's the sun feel for the first time?
Ellie: Wow, you're annoying.
Jules: I know, but I'll always have your back.
Ellie: And I'm more loyal than I am mean.
Jules: Oh, well you're real loyal aren't you?
Jellybean, you are the verbal equivalent of huffing paint.
Oh my God, it's so nice to be anywhere without a Cuban man climbing all over me.
Sweetie, I think the paperboy is here. You want to go throw rocks at him? Okay, nothing bigger than a quarter.
I wish Terry the Train would crash and burn to death in a fire.
Grayson: So Tom has a girlfriend. Does she not like Ellie?
Ellie: What? Why?
Grayson: Just assuming.
Ellie: Fair enough.
