Favorite Elliot Reid Quotes
I started an "I hate Cox" chat room. It didn't work out the way I planned. It's just me, two interns and 14,000 lesbians.
J.D.'s narration: A wise man once said the human spirit can overcome any obstacle.
J.D.: I can't.
Elliot: Come on!
J.D.'s narration: That man had obviously never run a triathlon.
Dr. Cox: Ahhh, damn. I missed the annual sleep-over, didn't I? That wonderful time of year when you two crazy kids throw caution to the wind and make sweet, elbowy love to each other. Don't you be shy! You can tell Uncle Coxie about the naught-aye!
Elliot: Dr. Cox, I lost my apartment, and so I was just...needing a place to stay.
Dr. Cox: So, you went over to your "friend's" house, and cried on his shoulder - boo-hoo, wah - and you, of course, comforted her because she was weak and vulnerable, and blah... blah... blah... nerdy sex. The end. Dear Lord, Laverne, how in God's name do you listen to this crap all day long?
Laverne: Are you kidding? If he turns out to be her brother, this is better than my stories!
Turk: (Pretending to be Keith) Hey, how you doing, Claire?
Elliot: Did you just call me Claire?
Keith: No I would never call you
(Elliot and Carla leave)
Keith: That didn't even sound like me.
Turk: I know. They hear what they want to hear.
How is it that no man understands that every woman, whether shes 16 or 60, still has that awkward, insecure, self-conscious teenage girl inside of her?
Jordan: Look, I don't know where your mother was when she should have been telling you all these things, but you cannot have sex with someone you care about! Sex is for making babies and revenge.
Elliot: Well, you're so full of it.
Jordan: Listen, Stick, if you wanna wipe your nose and pretend that was a sneeze, I will play along. But if you have something to say, say it.
Elliot: Everybody knows you're still sleeping with Dr. Cox; and it can't be about making babies 'cause you'd probably just end up eating them, anyway. And as for revenge, I'm just not sure that driving to his apartment and pleasuring him while he watches sports on TV is hurting him as much as you might think. So I have to figure that you still care about him, whether you want to admit it or not. And if you lay one finger on me, I'm blowing my rape whistle
Elliot: I've learned two things since I've been pregnant: ketchup on cereal is delicious and sometimes you need to be selfish.
Elliot: Uh, Dr. Kelso! You're the Chief of Medicine, is there a special way to communicate with the nursing staff that I'm not getting?
Dr. Kelso: Well, uh, sugar won't work because they're already so sweet. Now, listen Dr...Whatever-the-hell-your-name-is, you tattled yesterday, I responded - I feel closer to you than ever, really - but the ramifications are yours. So don't try to drag me into your pathetic, whiny, little squabble with that God-awful bunch of malcontents. I hope you all kill each other! Have a great day, ladies
Elliot: Sorry I'm late.
Todd: Hey, Elliot. Is it greasy outside?
J.D.: Oh, that is so stupid. Elliot, you look... smart.
Dr. Cox: Hello?
Elliot: Of course I'm smart - I'm a doctor!
Doug: "What's up, doc?" I just got it!
J.D.: Maybe that's why Danni wants to break up with me, she thinks I'm too smart!
Todd: You're dating a guy named Danny? Is he hot?
I don't have a ring, but you can kiss my ass.
Kelso: Dr. Reid, when did you become homeless?
Elliot: These are just my cookie pants
Kelso: These are my muffin pants. I've been wearing them since I retired
Elliot: J.D. was sitting in that exact chair when we had our third kiss
Kelso: Oh that is very romantic, I will try not to drill any more farts into it
