Favorite Elliot Reid Quotes
Elliot: So, I let myself get taken advantage of, sometimes; you know. I mean, big deal - how do you make friends?
Jordan: Look, I've seen your type before. You're that girl that convinced herself she wanted to lose her virginity at a frat party while another guy was asleep in the room.
Elliot: Chaz really cared for me.
Jordan: Ah, I know; and I'm sure you have a cool "Jungle Party" t-shirt to prove it. Now, can we please finish this physical? And, I can't pee right now, so you'll have to go for me
J.D.'s Narration: Ahhh, the Walk of Shame. All you can really hope for is a supportive friend to help you get through it.
J.D.: Elliot got some booty! Some booty! Some what? What? Elliot got some-
Elliot: Stop it!
J.D.: What? It's my "Elliot Got Some Booty" dance... Oh, come on! Elliot, it's not like anybody else knows.
Dr. Cox: What's up, porn star?
Laverne: Somebody toasted that marshmallow!
Elliot: Well?
J.D.: Somebody got some a-action! She got some aaaction!
Elliot: Well, he doesn't have insurance, so if you could talk to the other members of the board today at the meeting, well, J.D. thought maybe we could-
Jordan: "J.D. thought"? First he dumps that patient on you, and now he wants you to ask me a favor? Honey, if you don't start saying no to him soon, you're gonna wind up on the losing end of a little game I like to call Hide The Pickle.
Elliot: Oh! J.D. and I are just colleagues.
Jordan: Oh, my God; I was just joking, but you actually slept with him, didn't you?
Elliot: Pff... A little
Kim: J.D. is better at sex, Sean is better at foreplay
Elliot: J.D. is great at foreplay. He just takes the play part literally, so you got to embrace all of his games. "Nooks and Crannies," "Upsies Daises"...
Kim: "Who's in there?" ... Followed afterward by "What's in there?"
Elliot: "Mr Peep Tries on Hats" ...
Kim: Love that one!
Elliot: What is that?
J.D.: It's our baby's crib.
Elliot: It looks like a trap. You trying to catch someone else's baby?
When I was little, my mom told me my farts were little demons crawling around in my belly and if I let one out it'd give my grandmother cancer
Elliot: Dr. Kelso, you do realize you don't work here anymore
Kelso: Look, her husband was an old friend of mine, plus I have forgotten more medicine than you two will ever know. [to Denise] I don't know you but I assume I have you beat because you're blond and rolling with ms reeks of beer
Elliot: It's my hair, okay?
Denise: And watch the lip, grandpa, because you wouldn't be the first old man I beat up
Kelso: I like her, she has girl balls
Carla: Elliot, you know how they say no one will ever love you until you learn to love yourself?
Elliot: My mother used to say, "No one will ever love you."
Elliot: I just hate it. I hate the "darlins" I hate the "sweethearts" ...
Carla: You don't need to tell me how hard it is being a woman around here.
Elliot: Well, you're certainly furthering the cause by wearing a thong to work and hooking up in the on-call room. Word gets around.
Carla: You talk like that, do you even know my name? I spend every second of my life either here, or taking care of my mom. So, yeah, maybe I needed a little closeness. I'm sure you never had a quickie at the club, right? Or snuck some skinny, flat-butted college boy up to your sorority room. And my thong? I happen to think it makes my ass look good. And some days, I need to feel good about something around here. And you judge me? Well, guess what, word does get around, Miss "Out For Herself", so you can dump on everyone here if you want; but you will not hurt me.
J.D.: Her name's Carla, by the way
Elliot: Besides me, can you even name one other woman you're friends with?
Turk: Carla and a lovely woman by the name Margret
Elliot: Carla is your wife and Margret is your mother
Turk: Elliot, do not talk about my momma or I will punch you in the head
Elliot: Do you still let that inner voice of yours control you?
J.D.'s narration: This is getting too serious. Kick her, kick her in the head.
J.D.: Not as much
Turk: Bonnie is killing me; I'm telling you, I cannot beat this woman no matter what I try! She's like a ninja but worse!
J.D.: Nothing's worse than a ninja - they're masters of every style of combat.
Carla: Can we please talk about something other than Bonnie?
Elliot: I think you should give Bonnie a break. You know, it's really hard being a woman around here... you can walk through walls and nobody notices you.
J.D.: Not entirely unlike... a ninja!
