You really think tossing in Yoplait is going to quell Mt. Vesuvius?

Evan: You're going to start cashing all your checks now aren't you?
Divya: I'm afraid so.
Evan: Now I'm sad.

But you're an over-accessorized volcano waiting to erupt.

Talk about how you're a poor little orphan girl roaming the streets...dressed in Dulce and Gabana...

You know what, she may not be the expert in romantic communication, that's okay, I happen to be. Yeah, I'm, uh, gonna go write her an email that she will never delete.

Hank: It looks like Summer has arrived.
Evan: Her name is Divya.

Newburgh: Your father called form prison.
Evan: Well, that's a fun segue.

You kind of look like Jesus and Patrick Dempsey had a child and that child grew older and got really sick.

It smells like a moose had sex with a bucket of Chinese food in here.

Hank: Dude, what are you doing?
Evan: I can't just leave you high and dry.
Hank: I'll be low and wet, I promise.

Hank: Dude, do you really need to take all that?
Evan: I am prepared for every contingency.

Evan: (about Eddie) I should go talk to him.
Divya: Isn't prison punishment enough?
Evan: I'm gonna miss you.